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Hello to all: On new year eve, I received notice that, despite my long & desperate battle to finally receive SS disability just 4 years ago, my claim was up for review. Since then, I have been on that emotional roller coaster that can only be called terrifying; me against a huge governmental agency. The first thing that I did was to call the case worker assigned to my case. She assured me that this was just procedure & that all cases were going to be reviewed. With somewhat a bit more confidence, I asked my sister fill in the papers for me as she is the head of employee benefits at a large accounting firm & had my husband deliver them to the local office. At the scheduled time, my local caseworker called me to tell me that everything was in order. She said that she had never seen a form so fully documented and filled in quite so well.She also said that she could see no reason for me to worry-it was obvious that SS Disability was designed for someone like me. She would send my forms to the state where they would be reviewed & that a decision would be made in 6 months time & she was sure that this was just a formality & that I need not worry. Feeling somewhat at ease, I kinda put it on the back burner & got on with my life. Then on Jan. 27, came a big brown envelope from the Dept. of Human Services: Office of Rehab Services, Disability Determinations and I thought WOW, we filled in those forms so well that they were able to make a quick judgment. WRONG! inside was another stack of forms with a cover letter stating that they were deciding my disability claim & needed to know how my condition makes it difficult for me to carry out day-to-day activities. All this, now, when just several years ago, I was forced to hire a lawyer & ultimately had to go before a judge who said that my case should have never gotten that far! Anyhow, this set of questions seems to me to contain some "weird-er" questions than usual. Some of them are: (under general information) Do you have trouble concentrating or thinking? If so, give examples. & Do you hear voices/see people who are not around? If so, do they interfere w/ your activities? If so, describe. (under a section called Getting along w/ People) Do you enjoy people and like to be with others? Do you feel afraid of people? Now, I feel as if I'm walking through quicksand-I have answered these questions to the best of my ability but I'm afraid of the consequences: if I enjoy people & like to be with others am I a social butterfly looking for someone to pay my way or am I just a PWP with lots of friends who come over to bring dinner for my family, take me out for awhile (I have practically given up all driving!) & must sit & listen to my horribly slow & soft voice & remember how much fun I used to be? Can I tell them that I don't fear people but am becoming more & more paranoid that "Big Brother" is watching? Can I make them understand how I woke up 1 am to be able to type this & won't be able to sleep again until the pills kick in to make it quit hurting enough so that I can finally quit shaking? Can they read this on the www and say that I'm functional enough to write this, so I should be able to hold down a full-time job without knowing how long it has taken me to get this out. I realize that there are abuses in the system that they are trying to fix, but I have to tell you-this is one rollercoaster ride that I wish would finally end! -- Joan E. Snyder (47-8-10) <[log in to unmask]> "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer" Albert Camus http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/snyder/page1.htm