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View from the Lighter Side Weekly Report Parkinsaw, MI March 28, 1999 Welcome to Parkinsaw, MI, a certified imaginary community located in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, populated largely by individuals stricken by Parkinson's Disease. Stories, locations, situations and characters are fictitious and are presented in the belief that laughter, as music of the soul, is God's gift to us all, and is good medicine for PD. The Chamber of Commerce is waiting to serve you. Remember, all weekly reports, and there are eight available now, can be found at the web site www.mikeauldridge.com/parknsaw.htm Well, friends and neighbors, it's a fine day to be out in the brush, but this little Parky stays home today to finish his report. Do you know what I really dislike about PD in my case? It's when I awake in the morning, I know that's as good as I'm going to feel all day. A comic once said: "There's no such thing as a good morning, on account of they all begin with waking up." Well, that couldn't be truer than in my case. I must be getting old; when I was younger I knew it would be a bad day when I woke up face down in the driveway. Another reason why mornings are such a shock, is that in the past 20 years I've had PD, the disease never, ever has made an appearance in my dreams. I just don't have it when in a dream state. It does not exist until I awake and then there they are: my friends the Tremor-Boys, and their companion buddies, Mr. Exhaustion and Mr. Slowness, all of whom stay with me until I fall asleep again at night. How slow am I you ask, I'm so slow that by the time I've fixed an iced tea, the ice cubes have melted. Go figure. Well, the Tremor-Boys and their nasty buddies are not going to wipe the smile off this Parky's face, even though at times it might resemble a grimace. Shoot! Do you know what stupid maneuver I just pulled? With my mouth full of hot coffee, I suddenly was overcome with an urge to cough. And, as I did, my hand jerked and the coffee went flying. Now my monitor looks like it just completed the last leg of the Baja Off-Road race. Darn, I hate it when that happens! Well, we not only report the news; we make it as well. Spilling coffee might be thought of as "grounds" for being an idiot. Time out while I clean this mess up, then we'll take a look at the week's happenings around here. (A new PWP product may come out of all this: The Mess-B-Gone bib, for those who consistently spill things. Stay tuned) First off, we've been quite busy this week with the planning for World Parkinson's Awareness Month, in April. The Parkinson's Information Exchange Network had forwarded a Bulletin prepared by its members announcing that South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu was going to help Parkinson's Disease Sufferers world-wide by saying a special prayer for them during a service to be held on April 11, marking World Parkinson's Awareness Month. Everyone was asked to spread the word by making the Bulletin available to the local media, and we forwarded copies of the Bulletin to news editors at newspapers serving the Parkinsaw area, in addition to WLUC-TV6 at Marquette. We all felt pretty good after all that work and went directly to the Northern Lights for a Levolager brewsky. For all of you first time visitors to Parkinsaw who may not have seen the Bulletin in question, it is conveniently appended to this report. You remember Tom Shelton, our best-known fisherman? Well, ole Tom has placed the final touches on his latest invention that he calls Bait-Buddy. For years Tom has been complaining about the number of minnows he's lost while fishing due to his tremor problem. "No matter how I fastened the darn things to the hook, as soon as I put the line in, the shaking in my hands would vibrate the minnow right off the hook. I was going through 150 minnows a day. So I invented the Bait-Buddy." The Bait-Buddy is an ingenious device, operated by battery, which automatically secures the minnow to the hook, using ordinary dental floss. The importance of using dental floss is not only is it easily available everywhere, its odorless and colorless, and stronger than steel. Here's how it works: The dental floss is installed in a special indented cavity (unintended pun), and threaded into the main minnow compartment. Then, a hook is placed in its slot, the minnow placed into the compartment, the minnow is gently secured in place, and the box closed. The button is depressed, and with a whir and a click, the minnow is securely wrapped to the hook with the dental floss. No mater how severe the tremor, the minnow stays right on the hook. Beautiful! And, does it catch fish? You betcha! Tom plans to set-up his business on the Internet and start a PWP Fishing Forum, through which he'll market the Bait-Buddy. He's also thinking of expanding that new web site to specialize in products for just PWP, including the previously described Shave n' Pooper and Be-The-Doc. This week we noticed this personal ad in local newspaper: "WF, 70, w/PD, pleasingly plump, attractive, seeks WM, tall, 60-80, intelligent, with pick-up truck and snowmobile. No chewing tobacco. Need help rolling over in bed. Loves pizza, bratwurst, watching the Green Bay Packers, K-Mart Blue Light Specials, ice fishing, the new Levolager Beer, and listening to Da Yoopers. Must be at ease with pet pig." Well, friends and neighbors, it's getting dark here in Parkinsaw, the deer are restless and hungry, and, now that I think of it, so am I. Tonight, I'm heading over to the Northern Lights microbrewery for a bratwurst (low protein) and a couple of Levolagers. I think the Dopaminos are playing tonight, and I understand that prolific bunch has a new song parody out: An Ode to Tasmar: "When Your Liver has Gone." So, that's it until next time. Remember not to let PD rob you of God's gift of your smile, your laughter and your sense of humor. John Bjork (60/20) Here appended is the Bulletin Announcing South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu to help Parkinson's Disease Sufferers with a prayer on World Parkinson's Awareness Month, April 11, 1999. ***TUTU TO HELP PARKINSON'S DISEASE SUFFERERS*** South Africa's Desmond M. Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus and Nobel Peace Laureate, Robert W. Woodruff Visiting Professor of Theology, Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia, USA has offered to issue a prayer for all those worldwide who are suffering from Parkinson's Disease to mark World Parkinson's Awareness Month in April. The Archbishop offered to write a prayer for the occasion following a telephone conversation and a long emailed letter from Ivan Suzman, Portland, Maine, who has advanced Young Onset Parkinson's. Suzman, a disabled anthropologist, (and formerly a leading anti-apartheid activist) has become a Parkinson's activist and a member of the Parkinson Information Exchange Network (PIEN), an internet discussion list, notified members of the list of the Archbishop's willingness to "do something for those suffering from Parkinson's". Later, Tutu's office notified the listowner, Barbara Patterson, another Young Onset" Parkinsonian and a secretary at McMaster University School of Nursing, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, that the Archbishop had decided that his prayer will be issued through PIEN. Patterson's internet list has more than 1,800 subscribers in 36 countries. Parkinson's Disease (PD) is a chronic, slowly progressive neurological condition that affects a small area of cells in the mid brain known as the substantia nigra. Gradual degeneration of these cells causes a reduction in a vital chemical known as "dopamine". This decrease in dopamine can produce one or more of the classic signs of Parkinson's Disease. Although an estimated 15% of patients are diagnosed before age 50, PD is generally considered a disease which targets older adults. Parkinson's disease affects up to 10%, in some populations, of those persons over the age of 60. To date, there is no known prevention or cure for Parkinson's Disease. Notable persons with the disease include Pope John Paul II, Muhammad Ali American Attorney General, Janet Reno, Gandhi photographer Margaret Bourke-White and actor Michael J. Fox.