>Hi Camilla,
> I gave the care list e-mail address to my husband. He does not want to
>learn anything about this PD said that he wants to keep a positive attitude
>about and thinks his ignorance is the way to do it. He also said that when
>things get real bad then he will educate himself. I need his support now.
>Janice 51/5/46
Hi Janice again-- tell him (if you can) that "what YOU don't know may hurt
ME!" Perhaps you can get him to talk about why he is so resistant. I'm
guessing he may be scared stiff at what may happen to you--and to him.
The "ostrich response" often means that the person can't face the real--or
imagined--situation,and "chickens out". Actually, the CGs on CARE can be
pretty darn positive at times!
You know better than we do what has been the nature of your
communication--how far you dare to push him, and what might move him to be
more reasonable. PD is for him a giant unknown monster, and he must
eventually realize that it's better for both of you if you face "it"
together, and can support each other. Ask him "how bad is real bad"--and
how will you know you're there? My hunch is that this total irrationality
on his part is a fear-based denial---so getting him to talk about his fears
may be the best way to get through to him--and doing it with "I messages"
(I feel such and such when you....)
rather than seeming to blame him may work. He sounds like the little boy
who won't open the closet door because there's a monster in there.....
If you want to write to me, please do so OFFLIST as I have my PD mail set
for "nomail" till I get my current computer problems solved.
Camilla Flintermann, <[log in to unmask]>
CG for Peter, 80/70/55 co-owner, CARE list
http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm
"If the only tool you have is a hammer,
everything looks like a nail. "
----Abraham Maslow
