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I also have just helped my sister to be able to die at home as we all wished. She had put up a valiant fight with cancer for about 1-1/2 years. She had seemed to have it in remission twice, only to find it back in a very short time. She did seem todo quite well until about 2 months before her death. Then, it seemed to progress very quickly. She had two very dear friends who stayed with her day and night, only taking time off during the day in shifts to go home and shower, etc. and spend some time with their husbands. As she lives 250 miles from us, I was unable to be there all of the time, but did spend 2 weeks of the last month with her and her husband. I sat with her some at night, but had to be sure that I got my rest also. My brother-in-law moved a recliner in by her bed for me. We reminisced about many things (such as we were the middle 2 of 4 girls, and we were going to be born first or last next time--no more being in the middle). We also were able to get some things done that she needed help with the first of the weeks that I spent with her. The last week, she was not conscious much of the time, but I felt she knew I was there, as she would sometimes squeeze my hand, but could not talk any more. Her friends led a devotional each day around her bed for whoever was there at the time. They read scriptures and led devotionals. Then we would say a prayer, followed by the Lord's Prayer and finish with a hymn, which I led. I believe she knew when we had the devotional and appreciated them so much. It also helped the rest of us. During the last week, all I could do was pray that she would sleep away and not have to suffer any more. This was a very difficult time for me, as she was only 1-1/2 year older than me. However, I feel that our faith has helped me to get through this difficult time. I would have liked to be there with her the last month, but I have a husband and a 16-year old granddaughter who lives with us, and they needed me also. I will never regret the time I was able to spend with her. Mary Watkins 58/50 ---------- From: double a enterprises <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re Assisting terminal friend (non pd) Date: Saturday, April 10, 1999 5:14 PM Janice, I don't have your address so I can't respond off list. I have recently helped 2 friends who were terminal, die at home as they wished. I don't have anything magic to say, but remembering and sharing good times with them (if they are conscious) will help both of you as well as the family. also, taking a few minutes to leave the room, breath deeply and rest, will help your stamina last longer. also, although you won't feel like it, eat and drink enough to fuel your body. Finally, it both of you are religious, silent and praying out loud will help, as well as reading passages from the scriptures Just some observations which helped me bob