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From: AutoJoker Daily! <[log in to unmask]>
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Subject: AutoJoker Daily! 4/14/99
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AutoJoker Daily! - http://www.AutoJoker.com

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Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's
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 Excuses For Calling in Sick

1.  If it's all the same to you, I won't be coming in
    to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns
    today.

2.  When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in
    addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john,
    but I feel good about it.

3.  On Saturday, I set half the clocks in my house
    ahead an hour and the other half back an hour,
    I can never remember which it is -- accordingly,
    I will be in late or early.

4.  I can't come into work today because I'll be
    stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not
    showing up for work. Okay?

5.  I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine at Walgreens.

6.  Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit
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7.  Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

8.  I just found out that I was switched at birth.
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9.  The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session.
    He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite
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10. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike
    to the vet.

 11. I prefer to remain an enigma.  Or is it "enema"?

 12. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the
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     peace. One day should do it.

 13. I can't come to work today because the EPA has
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 14. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

 15. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest
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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION: RDK Net is not the author of these
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our best not to use copy-righted material. We encourage you
to forward them, with our info attached if possible.

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