Return-Path: <[log in to unmask]> Received: from rly-ya02.mx.aol.com (rly-ya02.mail.aol.com [172.18.144.194]) by air-ya02.mx.aol.com (v59.4) with SMTP; Wed, 14 Apr 1999 01:27:34 -0400 Received: from lbmail2.linkexchange.com (lbmail2.linkexchange.com [216.32.177.247]) by rly-ya02.mx.aol.com (8.8.8/8.8.5/AOL-4.0.0) with SMTP id BAA05495 for <[log in to unmask]>; Wed, 14 Apr 1999 01:27:32 -0400 (EDT) Received: (qmail 17345 invoked by uid 100); 14 Apr 1999 05:27:53 -0000 Date: 14 Apr 1999 05:27:53 -0000 Message-ID: <924067673.17253.qmail@ech> To: List Member <[log in to unmask]> Mailing-List: ListBot mailing list contact [log in to unmask] From: AutoJoker Daily! <[log in to unmask]> Delivered-To: mailing list [log in to unmask] Subject: AutoJoker Daily! 4/14/99 Reply-To: [log in to unmask] AutoJoker Daily! - http://www.AutoJoker.com Start Your Day With A Smile and a Joke to Share and Pass on to your Friends & Co-Workers! ******************************************************** WebMasters! Earn SERIOUS CASH with the AutoJoker! Make money TWO ways with our new affiliate subscriber program! And Entertain your visitors effortlessly! http://host.autojoker.com/ID/10001/info2.html ******************************************************** AutoJoker.com! One-Liner of the Day! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* How would you like to have computer excess from any enviroment you choose? Enter this sweepstakes now to win a SonyŽ PCG-505FX Laptop. http://websponsors.com/cgi-bin/ad_click.cgi?userid=579&offerid=120 Good Morning Autojoker Daily Subscribers! Help us grow by sharing our jokes with your friends & colleagues! Subscribe: Mailto:[log in to unmask] AutoJoker.com! JOKE OF THE DAY *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Excuses For Calling in Sick 1. If it's all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today. 2. When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it. 3. On Saturday, I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour, I can never remember which it is -- accordingly, I will be in late or early. 4. I can't come into work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay? 5. I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine at Walgreens. 6. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorderand, hey, how about them Falcons, huh? So I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. 7. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb. 8. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information. 9. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled. 10. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. 11. I prefer to remain an enigma. Or is it "enema"? 12. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin and drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it. 13. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. 14. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. 15. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Got a few minutes and want unlimited Humor? Check out our AutoJoker. Get your FREE subscription today! By dropping by our Website at http://autojoker.com Or drop me a line at Mailto:[log in to unmask] to subscribe. Live Chat! Live Games! Live Voting! Lots of fun to be had on our site! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* COPYRIGHT INFORMATION: RDK Net is not the author of these jokes, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. We assume them to be in the public domain, and do our best not to use copy-righted material. We encourage you to forward them, with our info attached if possible. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* HOW TO SEND US CONTRIBUTIONS & FEEDBACK: Share your best jokes with the world. Visit our website at http://autojoker.com and add it there. Or Mailto:[log in to unmask] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Brought to you as a courtesy of RDK Net Free of any obligations or expectations. ENJOY and have a Great Day! ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to [log in to unmask] Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/