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Hi Barb:  In honor of your response, I offer you this Limerick, as I
toast you with a grass of Levolager beer from the Parkinsaw, MI
microbrewery:

The Well-Trained Pig from Beverly Hills

There once was a smart pig named Kay
trained by a Star with PD from LA
Since it was Beverly Hills
The pig brought the Star pills
and glasses of bubbly on a tray

John Bjork
A View from the Lighter Side of PD
"We may be slow, but we're not too sure"

Barb_MSN wrote:

> John..
>
> Does THIS mean that instead of shelling out a
> fortune to train service dogs to aid them  Parkies
> what need 'em, that we can just get ourselves a
> piglet and train IT to do the same services?
>
> Well, my goodness! Can ya beat THAT? <stunned
> look on gorgeous face>
>
> One question.... I live in the Los Angeles area, and....
> uhhhhh..... this IS a pretty darn image conscious city,
> ESPECIALLY if one lives in or near Beverly Hills.....
> ummmm... don't ya think a SERVICE PIG will FLY
> (so to speak) <giggle> better in the back woods of
> Michigan then it would, say , alighting from the front
> passenger seat of a Rolls Royce in the Hills of
>  Beverly? <wee smirk>
>
> Barb Mallut (saluting ya with glass of Chateau d'Sinemet '91)
> [log in to unmask]
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: john bjork <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
> Date: Sunday, April 18, 1999 6:58 AM
> Subject: Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the Lighter Side of PD, April
> 18, 1999
>
> >A View from the Lighter Side of PD
> >Dateline:  Parkinsaw, MI
> >April 18, 1999
> >
> >Good morning to one and all from this imaginary haven for
> Parkinsonians,
> >located in Michigan's scenic, wild and beautiful Upper Peninsula,
> home
> >of the Porcupine Mountains, the Soo Locks, Pictured Rocks at
> Munising,
> >the Tahquamenon Falls at Paradise, and the Hiawatha National
> Forest.
> >We're glad you're here, but our merchants are even happier.  Try
> one of
> >our traditional meat pies, the pasty, and a cold Levodopa premium
> beer.
> >
> >This last week was busy indeed, with the World Parkinson's
> Disease
> >Awareness Month celebration here, featuring speeches, "Pennies
> for
> >Parkinson's" kiosks, and a small parade with many of the areas
> >best-behaved pigs marching along.  The Sty-King Group held a
> >demonstration of the smartest and best trained Pigs, with an
> emphasis on
> >showing examples of how they can be trained to help disabled
> >parkinsonians.   Henry, owned by Big Jake Nelson, demonstrated
> his
> >usefulness as he rapidly searched, located and retrieved three
> devices
> >of critical value to a disabled person: TV remote controls,
> portable
> >telephones and car keys.  Using a modified silent dog whistle,
> Big Jake
> >put Henry through his paces, and the pig located and retrieved
> all
> >devices with no problem except for one incident when Henry ate
> Jake's
> >wife's hearing aid.  (Henry may make a mistake or two, but he now
> has
> >the keenest hearing in town.)   Next was Maude Olsen's pet pig
> Jeeves,
> >who had been taught to open the refrigerator, grab a beer and
> bring it
> >to Maude.  Jeeves did well, but the sneaky porker went back a
> second
> >time, and grabbed one for himself after cleverly figuring out how
> to
> >open it.  (Watch out Budweiser frogs!) I'll tell you, we could
> have sold
> >a lot of those trained pigs that afternoon.
> >
> >Another great Parkinsaw Product for Parkinsonians has been
> introduced by
> >Jake Benoit and Charlie Johnson, the inventors of the Shave 'N
> Pooper.
> >The ParkinSuit, made of Nylon and space age material, is all
> you'll need
> >to stay neat and clean at socials, bratwurst parties, anyplace
> food and
> >drink is served, no matter how much you spill on yourself.  This
> is one
> >fantastic line of clothing.  It comes in three styles:
> knock-about, like
> >the traditional warm-up suit; casual-elegant, when a tie is
> required;
> >and, the formal, black-tie model.  You'll be one cool dude with
> your
> >attractive, realistic-looking ties and formal assessories
> hand-painted
> >on your suits by native Yoopers.   A special property of the
> material
> >allows it to be easily washable in a sink, thrown in a dryer for
> 2
> >minutes, and then it's ready to wear again, complete with pant
> creases.
> >Think of the possibilities: You're sitting at the table at a
> large
> >dinner party, when your tremor suddenly propels your full glass
> of red
> >wine all over your tuxedo.  What do you do, you ask?  Well, if
> you're
> >dressed in your ParkinSuit, you simply smile, and say to your
> host:
> >"Jim, old boy, please excuse me for a moment." Off you go to the
> laundry
> >room, take off the jacket and pants, rinse in the sink and watch
> the
> >pasta and wine stains fly off that material, pop the clothes in
> the
> >dryer, and 2 minutes later you're back at the table ready to
> tackle the
> >French onion soup.  These remarkable suits come in four popular
> colors
> >(black, brown, purple and navy, and in both winter and summer
> weights. A
> >line of women's models is being planned.
> >
> >Rumors abound in Parkinsaw!  Tom Shelton, just back from
> Milwaukee,
> >bought one of those tabloid magazines there and buried deep in
> the
> >magazine was a strange article about an alleged discovery of a
> possible
> >cure for PD.  According to the tabloid, an unspecified research
> facility
> >with experience in neuroprotective drugs found that excrement
> from pigs
> >mixed with innards extracted from the South Florida Palmetto Bugs
> showed
> >promise in arresting Parkinson's tremor.   The unnamed spokesman
> stated
> >that the fowl smelling mixture was so disgusting that it was
> difficult
> >to find volunteers to test it out, given the person must immerse
> his
> >head into a container filled with the mixture for up to 15
> minutes,
> >using a special breathing tube.  Sounds like a breathtaking
> discovery,
> >all right. Funny, I've heard several other rumors lately about
> >Parkinson's Disease causes and cures on the Internet.  Must be
> those
> >kids again.
> >
> >Last week we reported on how difficult it is at times to know
> that you
> >have Parkinson's Disease.  To help the confused, we've identified
> >another example to help you decide:
> >
> >You might suspect you have Parkinson's Disease when you regularly
> go to
> >bed before your grandparents, your mother has 10 times your
> stamina, and
> >100 times your dexterity, and your faithful dog, so old you've
> long
> >forgotten his age, runs you ragged chasing balls.
> >
> >Old Rasmussen was back in the news this week. He got his
> information in
> >the mail regarding the deep-sleep company, Cold Turkey, the  "we
> keep
> >you cold, so you don't grow old" boys, and he thinks he's going
> to order
> >the home model.  Sloshing down his third Levodopa beer at the
> Northern
> >Lights microbrewery, Rasmussen was the center of attention.
> "Boys, it's
> >not that I want to do this thing you understand, but I'm afraid I
> just
> >won't make it until they find a cure.  This way I'll be certain
> to be
> >there.  And, I won't miss taking these stupid pills any more I
> can tell
> >you that."  Rasmussen paused to take a breath, getting into it
> now.
> >"Listen there's something else.  With the home model, they have
> speakers
> >hooked up to your capsule and you can have anything you want
> playing in
> >there while you're asleep.  I could even listen to the Tigers
> play for
> >five years; maybe they'll climb out of the cellar by then; heh,
> heh, fat
> >chance."   Hmmm, I thought.  Wouldn't it be fun to play Chinese
> lessons
> >into that capsule for five years, so when old Rasmussen came out
> of it
> >he'd need an interpreter? "Good morning, Mr. Rasmussen, how do
> you
> >feel?   You've been asleep for 7 years?"  "Quang po chang??"
> "What was
> >that?  "Quang po chang, ho hung chunk?" "So," said Rasmussen, "If
> I give
> >you a list of tapes would you guys come over make sure my wife is
> >playing the right tapes?  We all nodded that we would keep an eye
> on the
> >tapes played into the capsule.  I couldn't get my mind off the
> Chinese
> >lessons.  A dirty trick to be sure, but almost irresistible.
> >
> >Well Ladies and gentlemen, the sun is sinking in the west, and
> birds are
> >singing from every tree, all nature seems inclined to rest, but
> there
> >ain't no rest for a lad like me.  The flies are gearing up for
> another
> >season of attacking, pestering, biting and generally making life
> >miserable.  It's a toss-up, which is worse up here, flies or
> mosquitoes
> >(winner and runner-up for State Bird) or that ubiquitous little
> terror:
> >the blood-sucking tick. So, we'll see you again next week.
> Remember to
> >indulge your laugh, smile and sense of humor, because nasty old
> Mr. PD
> >simply can't thrive around a smiling face.
> >
> >John Bjork (60/20)
> >A View from the Lighter Side of PD
> >Parkinsaw, MI
> >WebSite:  www.mikeauldridge.com/parknsaw/htm
> >