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My dear friend Ernie Thank you so very much for coming to my rescue. Only you could put into words what I just didn't know how to-do. I'm not trying to make excuses but even though I feel the way you explained, I realize the LIST was not the place to air my concern. Two thirds and more of my days have been 'hardcore' OFF. Personal family worries are for the first time completely out of my reach to help I can only watch. I don't offer this as excuse for having voiced something on the list that I otherwise wouldn't have, it's probably an explanation, more for myself to quit letting myself slip into the victim role. I may have felt that I needed an apology, or rather that my race needed it, but the truth is, it's not needed. And as far as Jim's concerned it's okay. Nothing is needed that Jim can give or do. I do however apologize to the list. Emotional tug of war over people's sensitivity or insensitivity on racial stuff is not the purpose of this list. Ernie, thank you for so much. I owe you more than anyone knows. Let's go on from here, Sincerely and a little less touchy than I was, Maryhelen To Jennifer and Jim: No offense intended. it's unfair for me to have expected you to understand. We're just from differant worlds, but on the list we share the same home. I hope all's okay with you on this. I still feel "we're in it together". Thanks