Sure John,
Use whatever you want. I think I have some more. If I can locate them Ill
send them to you.
I got those from a joke list so I dont know who wrote them but if you change
them it wont matter. Always look forward to your reports. Really make me
snort! :(:) ) (pig smile)
john bjork wrote:
> Jennifer: These are some of the best little puns I've heard, thanks for
> sharing them. I'd certainly like to use a couple in the Parkinsaw stories,
> suitably modified of course. For example, I could add Kayak Races to the
> July 4th Parka-Thon. Thanks again for these clever gems.
>
> John Bjork
> "Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the lighter Side of PD"
>
> Jennifer Smith wrote:
>
> > ------------------------------------------------
> > Word Play
> > ------------------------------------------------
> > Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
> >
> > the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
> > kayak and heat it too.
> >
> > Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
> > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
> > never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, become known as
> > the
> > lesser of two weevils.
> >
> > Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
> > One
> > says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are
> > you
> > sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
> >
> > Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain
> > during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> >
> > A group of chess enthusiasts checked in a hotel and were standing on
> > the
> > mezzanine above the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
> > After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
> > to
> > disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,
> > "I
> > can't stand chess nuts boasting over an open foyer."
> >
> > A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to
> > eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a
> > book;
> > the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced
> > onthe man reading a book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle
> > knows readers digest and writers cramp.
> >
> > There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in
> > ten
> > different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
> > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
> >
> > An Indian goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these
> > alternating
> > recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a
> > teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with
> > me?"
> > The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
> >
> > A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
> >
> > family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in
> > Spain;
> > they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
> > his
> > birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
> > she
> > wishes she also had a picture of her other son. Her husband responds,
> > "But
> > they're twins--if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
> >
> > Just for fun! :-)
--
#
# Netscape Fonts Catalog File
#
# Architect: Suresh Duddi <[log in to unmask]>
#
# This file stores all data about font displayers and the kind of fonts
# they server. This will be used to optimize loading of font displayers
#
# #####################################################################
# THIS FILE IS AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED. DO NOT EDIT THIS FILE.
# #####################################################################
# Copyright Netscape Communications Corp (C) 1996, 1997
Version = 1.0
displayer = {
type = dynamic
dlm = C:\PROGRAM
FILES\NETSCAPE\COMMUNICATOR\PROGRAM\dynfonts/nstdfp32.dll;879109868;206336;
name = TrueDoc
description = Bitstream's TrueDoc Portable Font Displayer
mimeString = application/font-tdpfr:pfr:TrueDoc producer testing font
streaming:enable;
deleted = 0
disabled = 0
catalog = {
} // End of catalog
} // End of displayer
