Jenifer: Thanks. I played around with the kayak bit and ended up with a short
paragraph in the weekly report. I normally send out the reports on Sunday, but
last week my mom, who is 91, fell and broke her hip so I've been busy there.
Look for the next one tomorrow and let me know how the kayak idea came out.
There's also a skit with the ubiquitious pig. (I note you actually crafted a
realistic pig smile; something else to steal from you)
John Bjork
"Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the Lighter Side of PD"
Jennifer Smith wrote:
> Sure John,
> Use whatever you want. I think I have some more. If I can locate them Ill
> send them to you.
> I got those from a joke list so I dont know who wrote them but if you change
> them it wont matter. Always look forward to your reports. Really make me
> snort! :(:) ) (pig smile)
>
> john bjork wrote:
>
> > Jennifer: These are some of the best little puns I've heard, thanks for
> > sharing them. I'd certainly like to use a couple in the Parkinsaw stories,
> > suitably modified of course. For example, I could add Kayak Races to the
> > July 4th Parka-Thon. Thanks again for these clever gems.
> >
> > John Bjork
> > "Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the lighter Side of PD"
> >
> > Jennifer Smith wrote:
> >
> > > ------------------------------------------------
> > > Word Play
> > > ------------------------------------------------
> > > Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in
> > >
> > > the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your
> > > kayak and heat it too.
> > >
> > > Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
> > > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
> > > never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, become known as
> > > the
> > > lesser of two weevils.
> > >
> > > Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
> > > One
> > > says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are
> > > you
> > > sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
> > >
> > > Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain
> > > during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> > >
> > > A group of chess enthusiasts checked in a hotel and were standing on
> > > the
> > > mezzanine above the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
> > > After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
> > > to
> > > disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,
> > > "I
> > > can't stand chess nuts boasting over an open foyer."
> > >
> > > A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to
> > > eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a
> > > book;
> > > the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced
> > > onthe man reading a book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle
> > > knows readers digest and writers cramp.
> > >
> > > There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in
> > > ten
> > > different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
> > > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
> > >
> > > An Indian goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these
> > > alternating
> > > recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a
> > > teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with
> > > me?"
> > > The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
> > >
> > > A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
> > >
> > > family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in
> > > Spain;
> > > they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to
> > > his
> > > birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that
> > > she
> > > wishes she also had a picture of her other son. Her husband responds,
> > > "But
> > > they're twins--if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
> > >
> > > Just for fun! :-)
>
> --
> #
> # Netscape Fonts Catalog File
> #
> # Architect: Suresh Duddi <[log in to unmask]>
> #
> # This file stores all data about font displayers and the kind of fonts
> # they server. This will be used to optimize loading of font displayers
> #
> # #####################################################################
> # THIS FILE IS AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED. DO NOT EDIT THIS FILE.
> # #####################################################################
> # Copyright Netscape Communications Corp (C) 1996, 1997
> Version = 1.0
> displayer = {
> type = dynamic
> dlm = C:\PROGRAM
> FILES\NETSCAPE\COMMUNICATOR\PROGRAM\dynfonts/nstdfp32.dll;879109868;206336;
> name = TrueDoc
> description = Bitstream's TrueDoc Portable Font Displayer
> mimeString = application/font-tdpfr:pfr:TrueDoc producer testing font
> streaming:enable;
> deleted = 0
> disabled = 0
> catalog = {
> } // End of catalog
> } // End of displayer
