Steal away, buddy. Glad to do something that helps out. john bjork wrote: > Jenifer: Thanks. I played around with the kayak bit and ended up with a short > paragraph in the weekly report. I normally send out the reports on Sunday, but > last week my mom, who is 91, fell and broke her hip so I've been busy there. > Look for the next one tomorrow and let me know how the kayak idea came out. > There's also a skit with the ubiquitious pig. (I note you actually crafted a > realistic pig smile; something else to steal from you) > > John Bjork > "Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the Lighter Side of PD" > > Jennifer Smith wrote: > > > Sure John, > > Use whatever you want. I think I have some more. If I can locate them Ill > > send them to you. > > I got those from a joke list so I dont know who wrote them but if you change > > them it wont matter. Always look forward to your reports. Really make me > > snort! :(:) ) (pig smile) > > > > john bjork wrote: > > > > > Jennifer: These are some of the best little puns I've heard, thanks for > > > sharing them. I'd certainly like to use a couple in the Parkinsaw stories, > > > suitably modified of course. For example, I could add Kayak Races to the > > > July 4th Parka-Thon. Thanks again for these clever gems. > > > > > > John Bjork > > > "Parkinsaw, MI: A View from the lighter Side of PD" > > > > > > Jennifer Smith wrote: > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------ > > > > Word Play > > > > ------------------------------------------------ > > > > Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in > > > > > > > > the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your > > > > kayak and heat it too. > > > > > > > > Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and > > > > became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and > > > > never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, become known as > > > > the > > > > lesser of two weevils. > > > > > > > > Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. > > > > One > > > > says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are > > > > you > > > > sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!" > > > > > > > > Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain > > > > during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication. > > > > > > > > A group of chess enthusiasts checked in a hotel and were standing on > > > > the > > > > mezzanine above the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. > > > > After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them > > > > to > > > > disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, > > > > "I > > > > can't stand chess nuts boasting over an open foyer." > > > > > > > > A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to > > > > eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a > > > > book; > > > > the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced > > > > onthe man reading a book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle > > > > knows readers digest and writers cramp. > > > > > > > > There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in > > > > ten > > > > different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. > > > > Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. > > > > > > > > An Indian goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these > > > > alternating > > > > recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a > > > > teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with > > > > me?" > > > > The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents." > > > > > > > > A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a > > > > > > > > family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in > > > > Spain; > > > > they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to > > > > his > > > > birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that > > > > she > > > > wishes she also had a picture of her other son. Her husband responds, > > > > "But > > > > they're twins--if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal. > > > > > > > > Just for fun! :-) > > > > -- > > # > > # Netscape Fonts Catalog File > > # > > # Architect: Suresh Duddi <[log in to unmask]> > > # > > # This file stores all data about font displayers and the kind of fonts > > # they server. This will be used to optimize loading of font displayers > > # > > # ##################################################################### > > # THIS FILE IS AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED. DO NOT EDIT THIS FILE. > > # ##################################################################### > > # Copyright Netscape Communications Corp (C) 1996, 1997 > > Version = 1.0 > > displayer = { > > type = dynamic > > dlm = C:\PROGRAM > > FILES\NETSCAPE\COMMUNICATOR\PROGRAM\dynfonts/nstdfp32.dll;879109868;206336; > > name = TrueDoc > > description = Bitstream's TrueDoc Portable Font Displayer > > mimeString = application/font-tdpfr:pfr:TrueDoc producer testing font > > streaming:enable; > > deleted = 0 > > disabled = 0 > > catalog = { > > } // End of catalog > > } // End of displayer -- # # Netscape Fonts Catalog File # # Architect: Suresh Duddi <[log in to unmask]> # # This file stores all data about font displayers and the kind of fonts # they server. This will be used to optimize loading of font displayers # # ##################################################################### # THIS FILE IS AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED. DO NOT EDIT THIS FILE. # ##################################################################### # Copyright Netscape Communications Corp (C) 1996, 1997 Version = 1.0 displayer = { type = dynamic dlm = C:\PROGRAM FILES\NETSCAPE\COMMUNICATOR\PROGRAM\dynfonts/nstdfp32.dll;879109868;206336; name = TrueDoc description = Bitstream's TrueDoc Portable Font Displayer mimeString = application/font-tdpfr:pfr:TrueDoc producer testing font streaming:enable; deleted = 0 disabled = 0 catalog = { } // End of catalog } // End of displayer