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Received: from send.memail.com [206.196.80.81] by email.dnet.net (SMTPD32-4.04) id AC3510E6017E; Mon, 10 May 1999 07:00:05 EDT From: "Joke of the Day" <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Email Facts List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:[log in to unmask]> Reply-To: "Joke of the Day" <[log in to unmask]> Date: Mon, 10 May 1999 00:35:27 -0500 Message-Id: <[log in to unmask]> Precedence: bulk The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org ___________________________________________________________ Tomorrow is the day !!!!! ___________________________________________________________ EMAIL FACTS OF LIFE 1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true. 2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are insistent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward & tell their stories. None have. That's "none," as in "ZERO". Not even your friend's cousin. 3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on. (But I hear they stink.) 4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate CO- workers, gross-out bathroom stall neighbors, and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers, college students, Usenet posters, and people from each and every world ethnicity it takes to change a light bulb. 5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter? 6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii. Try: http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. 7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you're probably going to be punished eternally. (Ever heard of BCC:?) 8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway. 9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around that many times, we've probably already seen it. 10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either. ___________________________________________________________ The MyPoints(R) Program pays you for using the Internet. You can get Points for activities like visiting Web sites, clicking on ad banners, making a purchase, reading an email and much more. The Points you earn are redeemable for merchandise and services from MyPoints(R) partners such as The Sharper Image, Marriott, Hyatt, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Spiegel, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls, Olive Garden and Red Lobster. What could be easier! http://websponsors.com/cgi-bin/mypoints.pl?username=joker ________________________________________________________ Subscription Information MeMail "Joke of the Day" is another free MeMail Publication. To SUBSCRIBE, send an email to [log in to unmask] To UNSUBSCRIBE, and to live your life in humourless mediocrity, forward this message to [log in to unmask] To CHANGE your email address, please visit http://www.memail.com/unsubscribe.htm For more information, send an email to [log in to unmask] or visit the MeMail website at http://www.memail.com For advertising information, send an email to [log in to unmask] or visit http://www.memail.com/advertising.htm Important: If you enjoy your free MeMail publications, please tell a friend today. Yes, today! :) ________________________________________________________ What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help... after it tears your throat out. This copy was delivered to: [[log in to unmask]] Please send your jokes to: [log in to unmask]