hi all At 09:05 1999/05/20 -0400, marilyn wrote, in part: >...It's been 6 weeks since I've really come to grips with Dad's >situation. He's had PD for 2 years but does not talk about it, discuss >it, ask questions on it. Some of this is good, as one does not give >in to things, but again, there needs to be balance, to share pitfalls >as well as triumphs with ones children... you both need to come to grips with it his life has been changed no denying that it can be hidden for awhile it can be controlled for awhile but sooner or later it will demand acknowledgment denial is caused by fear fear is caused by ignorance ignorance is caused by lack of knowledge knowledge is power that's part of the answer in my humble opinion sharing negative emotions is the other tricky part which we have all been 'brain-stained' into encouraging and expecting women to 'indulge' in and discouraging and shaming men from 'indulging' in emotions are where we live where we learn to live if we dare your father's diagnosis is naturally perceived by both of you as a loss which must be grieved before moving on with the rest of your lives grief insists on manifesting itself it cannot be denied we need to go through five stages without getting stuck anywhere along the route denial, bargaining, anger, depression, finally, acceptance acceptance is not 'giving in to things' acceptance is not 'rolling over and playing dead' acceptance is acknowledging and taking up the gauntlet thrown down the gauntlet is 'given' as a challenge to learn from to grow with it ain't easy it's bloody hard sometimes but to 'know' pain is also to 'know' joy >So it was not until my visit with him last month that I saw >and finally started to understand what was going on with him, >came home and started researching, asking questions.... good! i have a 'pd for newbies' page on my website [all pages are in their toddler stages at the moment] where i recommend basic reading for newly diagnosed parkies >And I am determined to help him, to help him in ways I know how >and realize that they must be matched with what he would want >and accept and allow... yep you can lead a horse to water... >He also says the medication does not seem to make a difference, >he thinks he is improving but he is not sure. (I'm not sure >either.) He has not been told about the timing, nor about protein >influence, etc.... the sensitivity to ingested dopamine i.e. sinemet generally doesn't manifest for a few years > Should a specialist be a neurologist? absolutely! and not only that but someone who specializes in movement disorders if not parkinson's alone there is still too much ignorance out there about treating pd among the general public and among the medical professions > AND a gerontologist? >(if yes to a gerontologist, what advantage does that bring?) i don't know... in my view it might just complicate things [see above comment] >I would fly down there to go with him to any evaluations and help >him get started with anything he needs to do. Do you think this >this help? having a second person at any medical visit is terribly important it's also critical to go prepared with written questions and to take the time during the visit to ensure that all answers are understood any medico who doesn't approve of such an approach needs to go back to medico school in my humble opinion your dad's cyber-sibling janet ------------------------------------------------------------ janet paterson 52 now 41 dx 37 onset [log in to unmask] 613-256-8340 PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada a new voice <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/> ------------------------------------------------------------