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Dear Cynthia, you are not whining, really. Just venting, and this is the place to do that. Do you have any siblings to share any of the load you have taken on? I don''t have any advice to give, but you must know you are entitled to feel as you do at this time. You are overwhelmed and need to get some direction. And this is the place for that, as well. I'll be reading the postings and following your story. And my heart goes out to you. Clare Wilson