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my dear gina At 08:48 1999/06/14 EDT, you wrote, in part: >...I need to tell you this tale for me to get it out, >not necessarily to have you respond or even understand... i know that it helps simply to get some frustrations 'out' and also that physically writing it all down not just talking about it helps the best in terms of brain chemistry >I was invited to New Hampshire by friends for a rest of 2 yrs of >changes, flight from Elkhart, Indiana to Manchester, New Hampshire >was uneventful. I stayed for a week and headed back to Indiana >on Friday, June 10 flying a well known Airline that I will name >after I talk to the CEO, on their position... >They had advance notice that I needed a wheelchair to get to the >next gate on the other side of the airport which was not there... my last experience with 'asking for assistance' not easy for a stubborn independent cuss like me [sounds familiar] was christmas 97 when i flew from bermuda to ottawa moving 'home' with some of my worldly goods and my four cats i was advised by a close friend to take the 'assistance' from my front door whether i 'needed' it or not, whether i was 'on' or not it makes a 'statement' to arrive at the airport in a wheelchair i have concluded since that this was very wise and very clever advice it doesn't make any 'statement' to arrive on foot / cane and then say you 'might' need a wheelchair so i was wheeled into each plane and wheeled out of each plane [two stops] so, each time, i had a 'pusher' who was 'in charge' of me a human an airport staffer who knew all the ropes and cut through all the red tape it was like being a v.i.p. i sat quietly serenely twiddling my thumbs and looking around while the 'pusher' and the ticket agents worked their magic each time when they were done, i held out my hand and the completed ticket folder was placed in it right side up going through customs and immigration at the ottawa airport was equally painless and peaceful even though i was moving back to canada after an absence of 16 years had a container of possessions following me by ocean freight and had a slew of veterinary inspected and certified felines with me the 'pusher' dealt with the customs officers came back to me to ask one or two pertinent questions hustled right back to them and voila i was on my regal stately wheeled way once again [as stately as possible with four cat carrier boxes howling beside me] my papers and documents and shipping manifests and declarations all stamped and approved and no problemmo 'welcome home, ms paterson' >It seemed to be a hinderance to get one and the person pushing >was having a conversation with someone I could not see... at one stage when the wheelchair and 'pusher' hadn't arrived at the plane and i was due to make a connection the flight attendant [who had seen me walk [slowly] up the aisle to the exit] asked me if i 'really' needed the wheelchair and looked impatient to get off duty [she had to wait while the 'pusher' was located] i was not in the guilt trip acceptance mode at that time i simply said 'yes' and sat down the ultimate immoveable object >They no longer have meals on the flights so I was having >a problem finding things to eat. Need to eat after some >of the meds. O'hare I found best to get a light something >to eat OH that is later... since i am on a 90 minute med schedule whenever i walk out the front door, i run through my checklist: "keys: check, money: check, meds: check, coke: check, cookies: check" it all goes into my admittedly large carryall bag [aka the "schlepper"] [i got it at hammacher schlemmer] >I lack the faith that I did have in myself. I know many >will say don't travel alone, but I am new at this. I have >always been fiercely independent and now have to confront >my limitations... you can't lose 'faith' in yourself just because you went through a difficult time you didn't bring the difficulty on yourself the fact that you are home and writing about it to us says to me that you got through it and are learning from it even now that was the whole point of the exercise 'confronting our limitations' doesn't mean rolling over and playing dead it means looking at the situation from both sides of the perception screen and taking the most graceful route you are not responsible for the way people treat you you are only responsible for the way you treat others if 'walking' and 'caning' doesn't produce the responses you need then you have the choice of 'upping the ante' to 'wheeling' doesn't cost any extra and is less stressful on all concerned i.e. it may be a new [and possibly uncomfortable] experience for you [trust me, you'll get over that!] but it's a familiar 'been there, been trained in that' experience for the staff they 'expected me' to be in a wheelchair and by gum i gave them what they expected >I just needed to get this out and thanks >for understanding. thanks for telling us you've inspired me to write this maybe, with a little luck, our combined tales will help others love janet janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada a new voice http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/ [log in to unmask]