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Gee, Ken, sounds like you got into one of the top airports - just try to imagine what the poor ones are like. Bob Anibal ----- Original Message ----- From: KEn Becker <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Tuesday, June 15, 1999 1:24 AM Subject: Re: Travel No More/Beaten - Long Piece > Gina, good for you, you finally MADE it, even though the odds were against > you. I have disliked flying since the first time I stepped on a plane and sat > for three hours while they decided it was not safe to fly and told us they > were switching us to another plane! I am always glad to be back on the > ground. Airports, at their best are horrible heartless places filled with > uncaring people selling goods at highly inflated prices. There are > exceptions, maybe one in a million! The pilots are overworked, the air > controllers are treated like research mice, deprived of sleep and made to > work too much overtime. The cabdrivers are mostly rejects from reform > schools, or desendents of Ali BAba and his 40 thieves. The parking was > designed by morons who think that walking in the rain or freezing wind, or > broiling sun through an unending maze, up steep ramps, leading to dreary > filthy elevators, is great sport! > The security checkpoints are designed to purposely cause unstable people to > lose their composure, by humiliating, browbeating and inconveniencing them, > and delaying them to the maximum for having the audacity to carry some > clothing in a piece of luggage. And NOW their favorite toy is a small window > you must try to stuff your items through, which is at least two inches > smaller than most luggage made today. They delight in sending you back to the > counter to force you to send what you wanted to carry with you, to the team > of demented gorillas who fling each item into concrete walls to see if they > can pop the locks open and make your personal items spew onto the tarmac > before it even gets near the plane. Oh, yes the tiny trays they make you > empty your metallic items into, before they subject your body to enough xrays > to weld your beltbuckle to your zipper, is designed to let some items fall on > the floor, so they can watch you try to retrieve them as other travelers walk > on your hands. They are trained to laugh at you in many foreign languages, > except whatever you happen to speak. It is not all bad, you CAN get a burnt > hamburger with hot grease dripping out of the bun, often for under $20, if > you skip the beverage. For a few dollars more you can get grease soaked > french fries with extra salt, if the equipment is not out of order. After > dinner time, say 4PM, you may not be so lucky, as many of the fine eating > establishments close. Then you may only get a nice warm beer, in a paper > cup, for what a 6pack would cost at home. Airports are usually clean, if you > use the restrooms that are not out of order, at the other end of the airport, > they are ALWAYS slopping a mixture of disinfectant and VERY slippery soap on > the tile floors. If you don't appear to lose your footing, they often try to > trip you with a mop handle, just for fun! I do know that all the managers in > airports,and especially the ones that work for the major airlines are well > trained. They ALL have the same little phrase books to study. Like a talking > doll, they can say: 1: I'm sorry, I cannot help you with that." 2: I'm SO > sorry, that's not MY job." 3: MR/MS _______ is in charge of THAT, and HE/SHE, > is on a break,or at lunch, please wait here, until one minute before you > flight departs...... Am I making this up? No way, I am NOT Dave Barry, and I > am NOT making this UP! Gina's experiences were TYPICAL! To answer anyone's > question before they ask: YES, I would rather DRIVE, or take a BUS, or a > TRAIN, or a SHIP, than fly! > Ken B