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Carole and interested parties: The Parcel Pigs' worries have been assuaged. Word has been passed through the Spokespig that the ill-fated deep-freeze trial involving Spammy has been halted permanantly. Additionally, with regard to over-indulgence, The Northern Lights microbrewery, who brews Levolager, has offered to concoct a special non-alcohol version of the real thing, which will be provided to the Parcel Pigs starting next week. In the interim, keep your fingers crossed that Pleasantly Plastered Parcel Pigs don't get too Plowed Popping Pints Pondering Proper Piggy Perogatives Particularly Persuasive. If your worst fears are realized, we may have to initiate a "Porkus Inibious Anonymous" for the Parcel Pigs. The Ham-Hocks Hacker is under active investigation by Dudley Dowrong---who just yesterday filed a name change---results promised soonest. John Bjork Parkinsaw, MI