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At 08:52 AM 6/24/99 -0400, you wrote: >Order Restored at the Sanctuary. After several days of raucous >frivolity and generally boorish behavior by the Parcel Post Pigs of CT, >Sanctuary Manager Dudley Dowrong has hired as assistant to restore order >and discipline to the Sanctuary: A retired Marine drill instructor (DI) >by name Nails Noogan, reported to the Sanctuary yesterday, and, from all >reports, just in time. Smoking, drinking Levolagers to excess and >passing vial wind, these trouble makers were simply out of control and >tarnishing the favorable image of pigs everywhere. Nails Noogan had >them out running ten miles before breakfast, and then confined to the >holding pens where they were initially processed. No soft beds. No >Levolagers. No cigarettes. Most of all, no HBO. Oinking complaints >about fears of marauding hoards of razorbacks and boars appearing on the >horizon, Nails Noogan calmly explained that the Sanctuary was protected >by the fierce Michigan Wolverine, which they knew, and any more >unacceptable behavior would result in being assigned to Isle Royale up >in Lake Superior for an old fashioned Marine style boot camp, with the >drop-outs made into bacon burgers. They were told if they shapeup by >Saturday, they could still meet with his eminence Porky Porkinson, and >maybe even have a ride on the Fabled Cincy Flying Pigs during the 4th of >July Parka-Thon. Last seen, the Previously Pampered Parcel Post Pigs >were Pumping Punishing Pushups Projecting Perfect Portraits of Proper >Piggery. Amazing what a little discipline will do. With our charges >being taught proper behavior by Nails Noogan, and the Wolverines at the >ready (they're already in a angry mood over the pig's behavior, and even >the Black Bear give them a wide berth), we're now set to receive Porky >and his entourage over the week-end. > >John Bjork >The Sanctuary >Parkinsaw, MI > > Isn't Isle Royale where the famous Wolf Sanctuary is?That mere suggestion should bring the most recalcitrant into line???Regards, T.L. Seese