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I must have missed the original post on this subject. Why would God ever do that? Geez. Remember back in the times of Jesus, they believed the same thing about lepers, and all sorts of things. So, if that were true, why in the world would Jesus then go a round healing them all? And don't forget the story of Job. Considering all the things that were thrown at him, boy, he must have done something (or more than one thing) so unspeakable, that we could not even imagine. Obviously he never had done anything and eventually got back more than was taken from him. Of course, there's no way a new family could ever replace his former one exactly, but as far as all of the other "things" in his life, including his health, they were replaceable and he made out better in the end. I have no doubt that when the PD thing is over for me, I'm going to end up much better off than I would've been had it never happened. Payback's gonna happen bigtime! Everyday and every hour of my life that is now wasted waiting for meds to either kick in or to slow down, is gonna be paid back in some other way later, and in a BIG way. I have no doubt of this. So, I just say, throw it at me now, cuz just wait until this is over - ya better watch out, uz I'll be unstoppable! And I truly mean this. And if there should be any possibility that God gave this to me, it is in no way punishment. AS I've mentioned before, when my youngest brother died of cancer at 5, when I was 12, I prayed that given how much he had affected my life in such a short period, given that I could have even more, I prayed that I could make a corresponding impact. Boy, did I ever get my prayer answered or what. AS they say, be careful what you pray for. Someone posted something a while back, if I find where I put the copy I printed out, It said something about when I prayed for strength, God gave me challenges to make me strong. WHen I prayed for patience, God gave me situations to teach me to trust, etc, etc. Besides all that, I believe we c hoose our life purposes in conjunction with God before we come down here. Hence I doubt we and God would pick something out for ourselves that is greater than that which we can handle. Sometime we may need to go through situations like these to learn some of the life lessons we need in order to pursue our purpose completely, but that's why I believe mine will eventually just go away once its purpose is served. Once its taught me all I need to know (and believe me, that's already been alot), why would it stick around? If I'm to go out and change the world (hahaha!) then at some point it'll become more of an encumbrance than an aid or a teacher, and at that time it'll back off. THey say that you are never given more than you can handle, particularly if you are doing God's will (i.e., your purpose). Yes, if I didn't learn from this thing and continued down the path I was on, I doubt it would've eve left. It would instead remain, trying to get my attention. And then again, should I be wrong, well, all I can say is "WTF!" Maybe it plays a part in my purpose that I won't be able to figure out until this life is over. Still, I'm not too worried either way. God will help me deal. This life is only illusion anway. If you identify yourself with your spirit rather than this body, things take on a different perspective, and you lose alot of the fear of death and other things that people typically worry about. Not to say I've got it all figured out, and that I never worry or stress out, cuz I'd be lying, but I'm finding as time goes on, I worry less and less about things that are beyond my control especially. For example the Y2K poem I posted recently. I'm more scared of all the idiots who'll be running around destorying things that night, either on purpose or in a panic, than I ever would be about any computer glitch. Humans do have a way of blowing things out of proportion. Wendy Tebay