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Report from the Parkinsaw Sanctuary July 13, 1999 Another Senseless accident at the Sanctuary this week. Tor Senseless, one of the cleaning crew, slipped when he accidently stepped in a pile of pig droppings, and was rushed to the ER with a strained knee. Mr. Senseless is one of seven brothers who are accident prone. In another senseless incident, six Razorbacks attacked a lone Wolverine late this afternoon, when the Wolverine stepped outside the Sanctuary momentarily for a smoke and a Levolager. Apparently the intruders had been watching the Wolverine's schedule, and noted that he always came outside alone at a certain time. The Wolverine, at first startled that a living creature would be so totally void of common sense as to bother a Wolverine, especially in the middle of a smoke and a Levolager, calmly kept leaning against a tree. Accordingly to an eye witness, the Razorbacks then charged the Wolverine shouting and hooting expecting the beast to turn tail and run, leaving the door into the Sanctuary unprotected. Instead the Wolverine placed two claws into his cavernous jaws and whistled sharply, as only one ticked off Wolverine can do. Suddenly, from the Sanctuary appeared four Tasmanian Devils, recently added to the Security Force, who charged the Razorbacks whirling and snorting and jumping up and down. While the Wolverine calmly lit up a Lucky, and uncapped his second Levolager, the Tasmanian Devils chased the surprised and frightened Razorbacks right out of Parkinsaw. Last seen they were limping across the Mackinac Bridge suffering the agony of defeat, heading for a Tiger's game in Detroit. (Tomorrow night is Razorback Night at Tiger Stadium. All Razorbacks get a free t-shirt and a bat.) Back at the Sanctuary after the cowardly attack, with the sun setting over Lake Parkinsaw, and a warm breeze blowing, one of the Tasmanian Devils still out of breath from the thrill of victory, raised his bottle of Levolager, looked over at the Wolverine and said: "You know, Wolf, it doesn't get any better than this." John Bjork Parkinsaw, MI