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> It's pun time and some of these are a bit of a challenge to catch! > Gordon > ---------- > FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: > > Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid > bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed > in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. > > --=[|]=-- > A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm > shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll > just have to be a little patient." > > --=[|]=-- > > A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins > that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One > day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap > some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. > Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was > Arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for > immortal > porpoises. > > --=[|]=-- > > A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk > Remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the > leaves > Of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. > When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the > Eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs > enemas?" > > --=[|]=-- > > Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted > To produce other products and, since they already made the cases for > pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers > traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest > quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada > or Mexico > rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, > "He who has a Tates is lost!" > > --=[|]=-- > > A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory > equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely > nothing to go on." > > --=[|]=-- > > An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine > man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin > strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, > chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the > medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged > and said,"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." > > --=[|]=-- > > A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name > missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the > local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken > Leif off my census." > > --=[|]=-- > > There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on > an > elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became > pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the > hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the > hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. > > > New Email address is: [log in to unmask]