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Nicole-I'm glad you sent your post.It's the first step.Although I am a member of the camp who enjoys pigs,(it helps me cope) I can understand how you're feeling. You'll get good advice and support here. Like Don says, you have to remember, we're all rowing the same boat. Keep writing. Carole H. --- Nicole Gall <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > I have written numerous letters to the list only not > to send them.....they > all entailled my displeasure at having to skip > around silly nonsensical mail > that should of been sent person to person instead of > through the list since > they held no benefit to anyone but the persons to > whom they were > directed........I chose not to send them because I > feel that negativity does > not help anyone...and I have seen how all it does is > generate bickering about > who should be allowed to do what......Yes its a free > country.....but how's > this for an option.....Those who want to hear about > Parkie Pigdom write the > author & he make up his own mailing list to send it > to.....I hate having > Parkinsons......and to have to deal w/it in terms of > pig stories brings no > comfort to me whatsoever.....Yes, this letter is > turning into the negative > monster I hoped to avoid.....but it is taking every > ounce of me to just to > function right now......Im mad....Im 38 years > old....soon to be 39...Ive had > this lousy disease for ten years......Ive watched it > tear my family > apart......Ive watched it make me a person I cant > control.....a person I > hate.....a very ,very scared "thing"......truthfully > I dont even feel like a > human being......I just had what I consider to be a > nervous breakdown....and > its to the point where no one in my family cares > anymore....they are tired of > watching me destroy myself......they tell me to help > myself......do they feed > their brain w/massive doses of mind-altering > chemicals? NO.......do they know > what its like to not be able to move w/out popping > pills all day long? > NO.....All they know is they are tired of listening > to me cry......tired of > me sleeping when I should be awake......tired of me > sitting in front of a > computer because sitting is all I can do half the > time......I have to find a > new neurologist after my dr of 8 yrs is > leaving.....I never felt like he > helped me anyway.....he started me out on large > doses of medicines when I > could barely tolerate the minimums.....he knew > nothing of treating a 31 yr > old woman w/PD......yet he was some comfort having > been my dr for so > long.....and now I am forced to find a new one...I > feel like I am starting > all over.....PD is a rollercoaster isnt it > Bud......Im tired of riding the > rollercoaster....I want a nice carousel > instead.....I didnt mean this letter > to sound like "poor me"....I am just so > tired....scared...and alone.....here > comes the hard part.....deciding whether or not to > send this........I dont > want to but I feel I have to.....I guess its a plea > for help.....thanks...... > _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com