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Dear Nurse Carole, thank you for your concern about me being looney tunes,
but I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about, unless you
continue to befriend Vito! HE is the mad man you should have hogtied, drawn
and quartered, and incarcerated.  BUT, do not fear, as I have the situation
under control!  Vito is out tonight, but when he returns to his mansion, he
will wish he had stayed away!  I have arranged an evening of events he will
never forget.  He will start with a nice hot shower, as usual, which will end
with an ice water shower, due to a connection between the freezer and the
water heater.  When he leaves the shower, the crazy glue on the floor will
keep him under the high speed ceiling fan until  icicles form on his body.
His robe is where he likes it, but he may NOT enjoy the itching powder
inside!  He likes Sinatra, so when he switches on his stereo system, he will
listen to  "High Hopes" on an endless tape, until he can figure out how to
shut it off, without the "off button, which is GONE!  The volume  has been
set to max., but the knob is  "gone".  If the tape breaks, a CD of Nancy
Sinatra singing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" , slightly out of key,
will take over (and over and over!).  Vito's water bed is inviting, too bad
the mattress has been  replaced with  warm maple syrup! His handgun is handy,
with a slight modification: now it will fire........backwards!   I think that
should take care of things, for NOW!
Ken "Vito's good buddy"