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Here are the funnies for the day:    Gordon
New Email address is:     [log in to unmask]

> Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
>
>       Pat Buchanan:
> To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
> ---------------------------------------------
>       Louis Farrakhan:
> The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the
> "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
> ---------------------------------------------
>       Colonel Sanders:
> I missed one?
> ---------------------------------------------
>       L.A. Police Department:
> Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
> --------------------------------------------
>       Richard M. Nixon:
> The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
> the
> road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
> ---------------------------------------------
>       Dr. Seuss:
> Did the chicken cross the road?
> Did he cross it with a toad?
> Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> but why it crossed,
> I've not been told!
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Ernest Hemingway:
> To die. In the rain.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Martin Luther King, Jr.:
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
> having their motives called into question.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Grandpa:
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Someone told
> us
> that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good  enough for us.
> ----------------------------
>     Aristotle:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> ---------------------------------------------
>     Karl Marx:
> It was an historical inevitability.
> ---------------------------------------------
>     Saddam Hussein:
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
> dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Ronald Reagan:
> What chicken?
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Captain James T. Kirk:
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Fox Mulder:
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have
> to
> cross before you believe it?
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Machiavelli:
> The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of
> crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Freud:
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
> reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Bill Gates:
> I have just released Chicken Coop 98, which will not only cross roads, but
>
> will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
> book-and
> Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Einstein:
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
> chicken?
> ---------------------------------------------
>      Bill Clinton:
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by Chicken?
> Could you define chicken please?  It depends on what the definition of
> Chicken is!
>