 |
 |
And Gordon You left out one of my favorites: A man takes his horse to the Vet because birds are building their homes in the horses hair behind his neck. The vet says Oh that's easy to treat. Just put a little brewers yeast in the hair and the birds will stop. It's that old principal. "Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet." Charlie "Fercho, Gordon" wrote: > > It's pun time and some of these are a bit of a challenge to catch! > > Gordon > > ---------- > > FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: > > > > Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid > > bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed > > in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. > > > > --=[|]=-- > > A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm > > shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll > > just have to be a little patient." > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins > > that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One > > day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap > > some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. > > Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was > > Arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for > > immortal > > porpoises. > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk > > Remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the > > leaves > > Of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. > > When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the > > Eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs > > enemas?" > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > Back in the 1800's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted > > To produce other products and, since they already made the cases for > > pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers > > traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest > > quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada > > or Mexico > > rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, > > "He who has a Tates is lost!" > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory > > equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely > > nothing to go on." > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine > > man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin > > strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, > > chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the > > medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged > > and said,"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name > > missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the > > local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken > > Leif off my census." > > > > --=[|]=-- > > > > There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on > > an > > elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became > > pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the > > hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the > > hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. > > > > > > > New Email address is: [log in to unmask] -- ****************************************************************************************** Charles T. Meyer, M.D. Middleton (Madison), Wisconsin [log in to unmask] ******************************************************************************************