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> A friend confided in me, "Now that I'm older, here's what I've > discovered": > > I started out with nothing, I still have most of it. > > My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran. > > I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. > > Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... > > All reports are in. Life is officially unfair. > > If all is not lost, where is it? > > It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. > > Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. > > Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat > cause > kids. > > It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere. > > Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the > > bathroom. > > It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. > > The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.