hi all yep, i guess i got your attention that time! life is complex life is difficult everything is given to us to learn from including and especially 'disturbing' and 'distasteful' issues currently there are several layers of this miraculous medium getting all mixed up together and then some here is my effort at clarity: 1. 1800 OPINIONS there has been controversy about humour of any kind on the list that will never be resolved one member's final straw is another's annoyance is another's lifeline is another's delight 1A. LISTOWNER RESPONSE this list is here to support people with parkinson's we offer it to them on an as needed basis please use it within our guidelines 2. PERSONAL ATTACKS telling someone their postings/opinions/jokes are disgusting is one thing telling someone they are disgusting is quite another criticize the acts not the actee i may do "-----" things at times but it does not follow that i am "-----" all the time or that i am a "-----" person most thinking people can discern the difference between the two especially when it is pointed out to them definition of the word 'attack' is in the hands of the 'attackee' if i feel like i've been attacked i have been attacked period 2B.LISTOWNER RESPONSE personal attacks are not allowed here the 'three strikes and you're out' concept appeals barb and i as listowners have the final call we may or may not appeal to the list for input depending on the circumstances our 'bias', if any, will be pro attackee listmembers are here to offer up their vulnerabilities: it is our first responsibility to honour that and to protect it 3. PRIVATE PERSONAL ATTACKS making a personal attack may be an act of ignorance making a private personal attack is a calculated act of cowardice cowards act in secret intimidation and manipulation is their aim and their source of power in their own twisted minds using an 'open but private' forum like the pd list where members have willingly exposed their hurts and their pain to gain access to potential 'victims' is a particularly ugly aspect of that manipulation persistent unwelcome and uninvited private personal communication constitutes more than an attack it is a crime otherwise known as abuse, stalking, etc and is not permitted by responsible internet service providers one very effective way to defuse the perpetrator's 'power' both in the perpetrator's and in the victim's perception is to eliminate the secrecy bring the slime out into the light of day and deal with it openly charlie's points about 'dysfunctional' family problems come home to roost on this issue 3A. LISTOWNER RESPONSE private personal attacks are not allowed here see 2A above 4. LIST STRUCTURE see earlier posts on 'you are cordially invited' janet up to her armpits in dishes janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset snail-mail: PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada website: a new voice <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/> e-mail: <[log in to unmask]>