 |
 |
IVAN! i love it, I love it, I love it!!!! Ivan M Suzman wrote: > > Clare, > > :Here are the answers MY friends would give to the > "Real guy's test": > > Ivan > > On Sun, 1 Aug 1999 06:06:24 EDT Clare Wilson <[log in to unmask]> writes: > >A GUY'S TEST > > > >Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing > >this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching > >their own lives by reviewing this material. > > > >1. Alien beings from a highly advanced socieety visit the Earth, > >and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of > >intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small incredibly > >sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, > >providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger > >and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence > >all over the entire earth. You decide to: > > > >A. Present it to the President of the United States > >B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations > >C. Take it apart. > > Present it to Barbara Streisand and Johnny Mathis, and let them > share it around the world. > > >2. When is it okay to kiss another male? > > C. ANYTIME you both want to, HONEY! > > > > >A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without > >regard for narrow-minded social conventions. > >B. When he is the Pope (but not on the lips) > >C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and > >this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know > >that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed. > > > > >3. What about hugging another male? > > When both of you feel like it. > > >A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease. > >B. If you are performing CPR > >C. If you are a professional baseball player and a teammate > >hits a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him > >provided that: (l) he is legally within the base path, (2) both > >of you are wearing sufficient protection, and (3) you pound him > >fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures. > > >4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is: > > One which needs your love to survive. > > >A. A cat. > >B. A dog. > >C. A dog that eats cats. > > > >5. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feelling ill and > >asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first > >question to her is: > > Dear, can I call your secretary for you, and tell her you won't be in > today? > > >A. "Do they need to eat or anything?" > >B. They're in school already?" > >C. "There are threre of them?" > > > > >6. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life > >do you miss the most? > > Running shoes. > > >A. Innocence > >B. Idealism > >C. Cherry Bombs > > > > >7. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's > >attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. > >One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it > >easy--you're watching a football game; she is reading the > >papers--when she suddenly, out of the clear bue sky, tells > >you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer > >bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship > >is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to > >get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind > >of future together. What do you say? > > It's time I introduced you to my friend, Tyrone, so that you > can decide how to handle your life from this point forward, dear. > > > > >A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, > >but you don't want to rush it. > >B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot > >honestly say that you will be ready anytime soon to make a > >lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding > >out false hope. > >C. That you cannot believe the Cowboys called a draw play on > >third and seventeen. > > > > >8. What is the human race's single greatest achievement? > > Putting away nuclear weapons. > > >A. Democracy. > >B. Religion > >C. Remote control. > > ^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) > Ivan Suzman 49/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) > Portland, Maine land of lighthouses deg. F :-) > ********************************************************************