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Special Edition of the Parkinsaw, MI Chronicles August 5, 1999 Preliminary Pontifications Prohibiting Porker Postings Prompts Parkinsaw Pow-wow Chubby Labarre, President of Sty King, originally formed to promote the image of the lowly pig, and I met today over several Levolagers at the Northern Lights micro brewery to discuss the latest developments concerning the doo-doo our porcine friends find themselves in. The Flying Pigs are gone and the Parcel Post Pigs are Predictably Postponing Packing. The Sanctuary is dark. The Michigan Wolverines are back in the woods, the Tasmanian Devil returned to Tasmania, the Gandy Dancer has silently vanished and Dudly Doowrong is filling out job applications over the internet. After crying in our suds for a couple of hours, we realized we were just making matters worse by taking a negative, defeatist attitude. When the going gets tough, the tough don't cry in their beer, they get going too. That's the Parkinsaw Way. (Fade to black) (Camera ready, roll it!) From my vantage point I see the problem as simply too many NON-PD posts every day, week in and week out. The sheer volume of these posts on a daily basis has bothered other members of the List to the extent that their protests have resulted in our removing all pig related material. I think we have to be careful not to throw out the humorous baby out with the administrative bath water. We need to think this thing through and see if there isn't a more moderate solution than Purging Porker Posts. Since I'm a humorist and not a arbitrator it should come as no great surprise that I have only one option to present. But, it's a start. And, (drum roll), here it is: My understanding of the problem, such as it is, revolves around the sheer numbers of posts on a daily basis which has caused some list members to develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in their wrists from deleting so many of our non-pd pig related messages. Further, some members are just tired noticing the presence of the posts containing references to pigs. So, why not change to another animal, say bats? Just kidding. We could, though, set aside a specific day of the week when we would post our messages involving our Porker Pals, for instance, Friday. This way the other six days of the week would be free of pig related humor. Those members who find Porker Postings Positively Pesky would be emotionally prepared on Friday and perhaps wear elastic wrist wrappings to avoid damaging sensitive tendons. And, the rest of the week, for six whole days they wouldn't have to contend with pigs. This would allow us to continue the porker saga albeit in a somewhat muted fashion, while maintaining peace in the valley. So, chin up Camilla! Now a smile, Hillary! Wipe those tears, Carol of CT! It is just possible we might ride again. As the Sty-King motto says: "This could be the start of something pig!" John Bjork The Parkinsaw Chronicles Parkinsaw, MI www.mikeauldridge.com/parknsaw.htm