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hi all At 12:21 1999/08/13 +0200, ida wrote: >Is this a real problem of that formerly active listmember, you mention? >Would she be eager, to be active again without that terrible threat? If she >is really vulnerable to such an extent, I suppose that that has a much >broader inhibiting influence in her life. >People with so much vulnerability should be protected in the first place, >but if she was my friend I, being a professional psychotherapist, would >advice her >to go to one of my collegues and get some treatment, because I think being >thin-skinned to such an extent is a problem that mostly can be treated with >some success. It is my experience that thin-skinned people often interpret >such an advice as if it means it is all their fault, which is not. One >can't protect people with psychotherapy against agression which is >expressed by bullits. But to help people to protect themselves against >agression (real or misinterpreted as such) expressed by words, send to >one's computer, seems not to be impossible at all. > >Ida in other words rather than let someone 'push my buttons' i learn to use velcro? or rather than let someone 'know where my goats are kept' i learn to laugh heartily at such foolish trickery? i agree with you i guess i have to look at all of this upset as a given as a test to learn from if i am to believe and live by my own oft-repeated advice i will also remember that cowardly and manipulative behaviour garners power over sender and receiver through secrecy and that such false power can be dissipated 'poof' just by opening up the curtains wide like in the wizard of oz no-one has the power to make me feel weak but me janet janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset snail-mail: PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada website: a new voice <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/> e-mail: <[log in to unmask]>