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hi all i have been posting regularly here for four years 'spilling my guts' and generally telling all with no qualms or hardly any or at least after always thinking long and hard about it in the hope that someone else might relate and might benefit from shared experiences/emotions and here i go again particularly in light of david's recent attention to the list who we are now this moment who i am at this moment is where we have been is where i have been a semi-organized accumulation of experience and learning ditto a list member who posts infrequently wrote to me privately a few weeks ago after a particularly silly few postings of mine with a few silly comments of his own we started quite a little cyber-banter thread totally delightful and unexpected to me sucked in by all the attention and flattery after an exchange of over 60 messages over a few days, in my pea-brain, friendship was developing into something more but then reality as is its wont crawled out from under its rock why did you start writing to me on that particular day? i don't know i've been visiting your site i've been reading your posts for years i'd felt it building up for months my ears perk up further conversation a 'curriculum vitae' including a marriage of over 20 years apparently still current my spine snaps to attention tell me about it that's a tough call she's a wonderful caring woman silence change subject the lights flicker on so why are you writing to me what is your purpose to find out all about you why you think the way you do would you have written to me in the way you did if i were male silence would you share our banter and fun with your wife silence what is your purpose i like to get to know people why not just enjoy the attention the lights are blazing now i asked how many others he had approached this way i recommended that he see a psychiatrist or his neuro i suggested that his pd or his meds were affecting his cognitions silence denial suddenly we don't see eye to eye on anything and had best end this cyber-conversation and there it sits janet janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset snail-mail: PO Box 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada website: a new voice <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/> e-mail: <[log in to unmask]>