Greetings to everyone on the list. Last February I introduced the
imaginary world of Parkinsaw, MI, A view from the lighter side of
Parkinson's Disease. It was pretty well received here, and I think we
had a lot of fun together. I would like to return to the weekly report
format, with a twist: I propose to re-post the original weekly reports,
editing out certain material, shortening the reports to a page and a
half, and generally making editorial improvements. The final product
would be a manuscript which, if published, would include a set-aside
percentage for Parkinson's Disease research.
Following on here is an edited re-post of the original February 6,
1999. Comments pro and con are welcomed. If it is the collective
wisdom that this is not the most appropriate forum for this new project,
please let me know. Now, it's a lovely morning up here in Michigan's
Upper Peninsula, and we're all going over to Spanky's for his famous
Swedish pancakes. Served with butter and powdered sugar, and then
rolled up to eat, they're simply delicious.
The Parkinsaw Chronicle
A View from the Lighter Side of Parkinson's
Disease
February 6, 1999
Welcome to the first edition of the Weekly Chronicle from Parkinsaw, MI,
a certified imaginary community for people stricken with Parkinson's
Disease, located in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Speaking for the
Chamber of Commerce and the fine restaurants and stores here, we're
delighted you stopped in to visit. Don't go outside with wet hair, now,
or you may catch your death of cold. We'll be bringing you humorous
stories about the many zany characters up here, and their daily
struggles with Parkinson's Disease, because we believe that laughter, as
music of the soul, is good medicine for everyone. So, when you hear
about something-funny going on in Parkinsaw, odds are you heard
correctly.
It's been a harsh winter for this small, rural town of 4000
inhabitants. Temperatures down to 30 below, chest-high snow banks, and
icy conditions have made life miserable for the hardy Parkinsonians who
live here. But hardships are faced with a fierce independence and
"in-your-face" attitude by this community founded by individuals
stricken by Parkinson's Disease, a degenerative neurological disorder.
Tom Slokum, 75, who resides on Shaky Lane sums it up: "When the going
gets tough, Parkies get goin' " Slokum, who was on his way out on the
bay to do some ice fishing, further commented that medical problems are
just a way of life. "The biggest problem I'll have today", he
explained, "will be to bait the hook, and then keep the bait from
falling off. If I could just hold the pole still, I could keep the
minnow on the hook. I'll be darned if I don't shake the thing off
before I get a bite. Yesterday, I went through 147 minnows in a space
of just 2 hours," he muttered, as he headed for the frozen lake.
Bjorn "The Swede" Svensen has been having a good winter, in spite of the
weather, largely due to the success he's been having selling local-color
bumper stickers. His big sellers are: "Scandinavians With Parkinson's
Disease Make Better Lovers", and
"Parkies May Be Slow But They're Not Too Sure." Swede even sells his
bumper stickers on the Internet. The Swede also sells his bumper
stickers to tourists during
the summer at his home on Shuffle Court. The Swede, 84, used to be the
best barber in town, until he cut almost all the hair off the left side
of Pete Peterson's head during a sudden "OFF" spasm when his medicine
suddenly stopped working. Peterson, who was
nicknamed Lefty until his hair grew back, convinced the Swede to turn
over his clippers to "Old Steady" Toiva Reninnen, who just turned 78.
Things have quieted down now, and it's relatively safe to get your hair
cut again. Toiva has a little sign in his window, which says
"ON-Medicine Working", or "OFF-Medicine Not Working" so customers know
when to stay away. We take a variety of medications and strangely they
never seem to work the same way from day to day. Every day's an
adventure, and never a dull moment.
One of the goals of this news report is to provide timely information
about Parkinson's Disease that the general public may not be aware of.
For example, there's a relatively rare and unknown phobia that plagues a
small number Parkinson's sufferers, called Brasosum Tremerus
Extremitum. This strange condition is characterized by a profound fear
of your arms being shaken right off your body due to an extreme tremor
attack. Another phobia which affects thousands of Parkinsonians is
known as Pastillum Confundus. This is the fear of forgetting if and
when you've taken your scheduled medicine dosage, and the accompanying
fear of overdosing or being under medicated. So, just when you thought
you suffered from a "nameless dread," don't worry, we'll find a name for
it!
Well, it's about that time to wrap-up the first Weekly Chronicle from
Parkinsaw, MI. It's dark here now, and the deer are coming out of
hiding from their beds in the brush. They're still a bit skittish from
hunting season that ended December 31. We've got to get ready for the
big Polka Party tonight. It will be held At the Muhammad Ali Town Hall
from 7 to 7:30.
John Bjork
Parkinsaw, MI
Feb 6, 1999
