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Bonnie... I'm reading... I'm reading. (in fact I've prolly spent half my life reading email) <grin> Let's just chalk this up to experience and get on with the business of living, 'kay? Barb Mallut [log in to unmask] -----Original Message----- From: Bonnie Rowley <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Date: Sunday, August 29, 1999 4:10 PM Subject: Re: LIST--Janet's question--NON-PD >janet, >While I agree 100 percent with what Camilla posted, & her kind, thoughtful >wording - >I, on the other hand, do not believe that it should become a personal issue. > (is David Boots here???) >IMHO, I believe that once someone's feelings have been hurt, then that should >be the end of the discussion >OR >an apology should come out of it from the one who did the hurting of feelings. > >Gosh, I feel like I'm working with the kids I baby-sit now instead of >communicating with other adults, which I know we all are. > >While I'm on the subject of "apology" >Barb M, I hope you are reading this because I accept your apology that I do >believe I read in one of posts. (I try to teach "my" kids about both sides of >hurt feelings) > >Bonnie >daughter of Jim 77/4 > >In a message dated 8/29/99 3:45:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time, >[log in to unmask] writes: > >> Dear Janet / List Elf--- >> You wrote: >> >if anyone can point out to me >> >where my words have appeared harsh >> >i would be grateful >> >> Taking this not as defensive, but as a genuine request on your part, I will >> try to explain how I see it. >> In my opinion, the following exchange was what Michel heard as "hurtful"-- >> >> Michel wrote: >> <But the worse part of that, is that it repelled many newcomers >> >who wanted to discuss strictly PD matters, and some old timers >> >who could not cope with the inordinate size or number of the E-mail, >> >and felt forced to abandon us... >> >> Janet replied: >> ...if not, i suggest that your statements are not only false >> but negative and inflammatory and awfulizing and catastrophizing >> viz the emotional baggage of your words >> 'worst' 'repelled' 'inordinate' 'forced' and 'abandon' >> >> My "perception" of this paragraph is that it is a personal attack on Michel >> who was stating what was, I believe, an accurate summary of many past posts >> to the list. I have to admit I cringed when I read it. I realize you may >> not have intended it as an attack, but as vigorous discourse, and haven't >> understood how your words may come across to others. Unfortunately, as >> you have often pointed out, perceptions can vary---and that is why I AGAIN >> suggest that when such disagreements arise they may better be clarified >> one-to-one rather than on the whole list---this has become, after all , a >> "non-pd" matter . No one is suggesting censorship or throttling your >> voice, or trying to control you--- but you ASKED to have this pointed out >> to you, so I am granting your request, in the hope that you may be able to >> temper your tone when you realize how it can affect others. >> >> >> >> >> Camilla Flintermann, CG for Peter 81/70/55 >> Oxford, Ohio >> http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm >> <[log in to unmask]> >> >> "Ask me about the CARE list for >> Caregivers of Parkinsonians ! " >>