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-----Oorspronkelijk bericht----- Van: janet paterson <[log in to unmask]> Aan: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]> Datum: zondag 29 augustus 1999 11:49 Onderwerp: perceptions Janet, >> some see me as eloquent some see me as a demagogue << have you considered: sometimes you are eloquent? sometimes you are demagogic? >> i write what i feel compelled to after much thought and concern and selection i seek expression and understanding and clarity << Have you considered that you might be so focussed on analysing the text (in good intentions I'm sure), that during this process you sometimes loose some perception of the person BEHIND the text. A person with feelings. Feelings that are not always suitable to be analysed mathematically. Sometimes they are contrary to any logical analysis, but therefor not less important and they deserve just as much respect for recognition as the logically analysable facts (or perceptions). >> due to fear of what others may see in my words regardless of my intent?<< Supposing your intent in replying to Michel was positive. No matter if he is right or wrong: HE felt your reply as flaming. At that moment you replied AGAIN analysing the FACTS (or perceptions if you like). IMO you should have realised, which Michel stated very clearly, that you hurt his FEELINGS and should have apologized (or something like that) for the UNintended grieve/hurt/discomfort you might have caused. Instead you turned the world around IMO, as if Michel by stating his feelings was initiating a problem, while you projected it onto yourself (IMO you placed YOURSELF in the focal point). I hope you understand my intentions for writing this are positive, though I have to agree with Michel in seeing your original post as flaming. I hope that all the negative vibes on the list at the moment, will soon disappear again, leaving us as better, richer and happier people. BTW: I think Barb Mallut was flaming Bonnie and should have directed her "mea culpa" to her instead of towards Camilla. At least she had the insight to apologize (very good, Barb!!), but IMO to the wrong person and IMO some nice words to Bonnie would be appropriate. Hans.