I sure do miss Art Linkletter's "Kids Say The Darndest Things". Cosby's takeoff on that program, while good, doesn't come close. > One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her > small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked > with a > tremor in his voice, > > "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" > > The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she > said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." > > A long silence was broken > at last by his shaky little voice: > > "The big sissy." > ======================== > A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the > first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir > came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. > > All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, > "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you..." ======================== > Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday > School. > "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy > lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he > got to > the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the > people > walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and > call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all > the > Israelites were saved." > > "Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught > you?" his mother asked. > "Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher > did, you'd never believe it!" > ======================== > A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother > that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named > Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn > was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear," > ======================== (This is an old one!) > A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a > 4-year-old Protestant girl in a plastic wading pool in the > back yard. They splashed a lot of water on each other; their > clothes were soaking wet, so they decide to take off the wet > clothes. The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, > I didn't know there was that much difference between Catholics > and Protestants." > ======================== > It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the childrens > sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little > girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the > pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. > Is it your Easter dress?" > > The little girl replied, directly into the > pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." > ======================== > Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. > Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday > School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I > made > ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." > > Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't > warned." > > > >