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hi all >At 19:24 1999/09/24 -0700, cyber-dad Don wrote: >>i am not sure if this should have been NONPD: >>so list and my cyber-daughter, i hope i am doing right. as far as i am concerned you can [almost] do no wrong! i make a point of reading every single message you send in regardless of the subject or the topic or whatever and i am sure that i am not alone in this >>how to start? as they say in book writing, start at the beginning. >>i may repeat myself. mom (VIVIAN) and i had a long talk again. >>yes, i have been very upset. why - i don't know. >>my neuro is away on a trip. mom called his head nurse. >>as all nurses know, a lot of them know the doc's patients >>about as well as the doc's do. >>they both say my PD is getting worse,though i'm not dying from it. >>i'm just like a lot of PWP'S who ARE IN DENIAL. >>she said i was regressing. >>[i can't think of the word but am going backwards]. >>i used to be the one who could do 'anything' >>and what i did not know was 'not worth knowing'. >>i cry a lot about how i can't do this or that. >>i don't want to admit i have trouble in walking or doing any thing. >>when someone needed help i was there. >>now that i can't be first, i cry. could it be the moon? everyone seems to be 'prickley' these days extra sensitive extra emotional but that might just be pd you didn't have a very good time at that dinner were you disappointed that you had to leave early? were you mad at yourself? if it had been someone else who choked on their chicken would you be mad at them? you say you are crying about the things you can't do you know that that is the old grungy filter that mr pd has on his glasses he never cleans the darn things he goes wallowing in the mud gets his lenses all grimy and then complains that the day looks dreary how about a good scrub so you can see the things you ***can*** do for a change? like write a heart-spilling letter like you just did do you know how many people cannot do that? too afraid to 'look vulnerable'? too afraid of seeming 'weak'? i personally think that the things you know and are learning now are the things that are truly 'worth knowing' the other stuff is just ego flaunting or what i have dubbed 'willie waving' [yikes i can't believe i said that!] >>i have tried to tell PWP'S. we are still people with feelings. >>but i don't want anyone's pity. this i have got to do for myself. it's one thing to feel too proud for pity but allowing others to at least empathize with you is a generous sharing of your humanity we none of us are perfect now or ever will be no point in wasting energy pretending we are or whining that 'we should be' >>i did not know the LIST was picking up on it. mom has. >>she is trying to get me to be the old DON and look after myself. >>you see CG have it worries time with PD than us. i forgot that. >>i am trying to figure out why one minute i am ok, and then an hour >>later i'm not. i was talking to BERN . HE PICKED UP ON IT AS WELL >>AS a LOT OF MY VERY VERY GOOD LIST FAMILY have picked up on it. >>my life is to help all PWP'S in my own way from my heart. >>JOAN HOW CAN'T SPELL HER NAME? Joan Snyder has made me feel good >>because of the posts i got from her. >>at one time i could look the big wheels in the face >>and read the riot act to them. and just what do you think you are doing now? the big wheels have changed into your cyber-kin and we are gaining the benefit of your e-mails to us your words touch us all in a way that is much more powerful than a rip-snortin lecture >>CAMILLA at the end of your post, i think in your polite way >>are tryng to tell me something. >>i know i will win over this PD. >>with the LIST & with VIVIAN'S HELP i will >>and i pray i will be DON once more. >>so let's all be allowed to say what we want >>and let it settle in the dust and let the rain take care of it. i love this image have you been taking secret poetry lessons? >>i have been here for an hour trying what to figure out what to say. >>it's really nothing of importance. i've just got to talk. >>with so many that are having their own worries with PD, >>I should just shut up. no, you 'shouldn't' i'm glad you didn't with mush love sis >>I.Y.Q. >>DON AND VIVIAN >>LOVE OF MY LIFE FOR 54 YEARS >> >>BEST MEDS FOR PD >>IS >>FOR IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE >> >><[log in to unmask]> >> >><http://www.2wcoil.com/~flash> > janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset 613 256 8340 po box 171 almonte ontario canada K0A 1A0 a new voice: <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/> <[log in to unmask]>