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Don, Like you and Sherilyn and others, I get incredibly frustrated with what I could do yesterday and what I can do now. Like Jane, my daughters miss what I used to do for them. Last year I my nineteen year old relayed a conversation she had with her boyfriend (or boy de jour as my husband and I we refer to them at times ), in an effort to convince me I wasn't becoming worthless. "Mom," she said. "I told R that I wish he had known you before you sick because you were so cool. He just looked at me and said, 'Your mom is cool now, at least I think so'". (He stayed around as boyfriend longer than most.). My point is we are too hard on ourselves when we see the work we do, our physical contributions to our families. slip out of our grasp. It is as if we are trying to hold water with our fingertips. I have a tendency to define myself by what I can do. It sounds as if you look at yourself the same way at times. You must take a lot of pride in how your home is maintained.. Others do not necessarily see us on the basis of what we do, especially those who love us and these are the important people. I find the trend in the newspaper to insist on putting occupation in the obituary headings after a person's name appalling and degrading. As if this was the some total of a man. (forgive me, I think I'm stealing from the Bard-- Hamlet?) My current frustration is the kitchen. I used to cook and bake to relax. Putting together a complicated dinner used to be my idea of fun. I loved flying around the kitchen, stirring this pot, whisking that sauce, putting finishing touches on the dessert -- my specialty. My playground is now a minefield. The last time I made a cake, boxed at that, I felt like a toddler trying to ice it, icing out of a can. My oldest daughter, age 21, came in laughed at me saying "I see you have been having fun!" Icing was everywhere--the counter, my hands, my hair, and some actually made it on the cake AS IF A TODDLER HAD DONE IT. I was close to tears, but how can you be upset with yourself when those around you are amused and tell you how "cute" you are?? Electric appliances can ease the job, but nothing keeps me "from checking out the kitchen floor in close detail" if I lose focus and fall. It is becoming a common occurrence, Frustrating, you bet it is. It seems as each day goes by I lose something that was there the day before. The last time I had a pair of knitting needles in my hand, I had no clue how to hold the left one. Yes, left is my weaker side. When asked about hobbies I have I just laugh. Hobbies are things I use d to be able to do, but no more. I stayed home and raised my children I was brownie leader, choir leader etc. Basically a care giver for my family. The caregiver does not go out of the house to get the mail without a keeper! Gave up driving over a year ago. Cannot read my own handwriting. All this happened in two years! It is all horribly frustrating Don, you are not alone. I have only recently joined this group. Already I feel something is missing in my day when I don't sign on. Thank you Don and everyone else for being here. No matter how wonderful my family is, it is the people on this forum who make me feel that I'm not alone. To all of you, fondly, Cathy 50/48/46