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Don, I understand both your frustrations and your pain in watching someone else do something you love to do, and having to hear someone tell you "it's for your own good" >From the time I was 14 until I turned 21, Don I was in a rodeo 2 or 3 nights each week, every week, regardless of what was broken or whatever else I had going on - rodeo was my hobby, it gave me extra spending money, and it was a large part of my identity. As I broke different body parts and became unable to do one event, I was just switching to other events I could still participate at. However, it finally got to the point I was literally risking life and limb to compete and I had to stop.. Thats been nearly 20 years ago, and I still can't watch rodeo for enjoyment - my enjoyment wasn't in the watching, it was in the doing. When I quit rodeoing, I began to raise and train my own horses, and while it wasn't the same, it was a challenge, and it was close to the same activities, and I grew to love it also. For the next 18 yrs, I raised my own babies, trained them, showed them, or sold them to others to show, and I took a lot of pleasure in the quiet reputation I built up - a horse trained at double a would be a good one who would do exactly what we told them it would do... and then my body began to quit on me again, and now my family is telling me you don;t need to be doing that anymore, you are too old or too sick etc., or they are "helping me" by doing parts of the training I loved to do. And it does hurt to see someone else doing "my job". My wife recently told a marriage councilor that she just wanted to help me, she needed to help me, and to keep me from falling. Its hard to accept that she has a need to help, when I really don't always want her help, even thought I usually need her help. As I told her, there are sometimes when its better to let me fall, then help me up, than to keep me from falling, and making me feel like a failure. I am telling you all this so you will understand that I DO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FEELING. Now, having said that, when I look at things from my family's point of view, I have to admit they have needs too, and some of their needs are to make life as easy as they can for me. I feel sure that is part of what Vivian and the girls are trying to do for you. And if we are honest with ourselves, we can't do as much as we use to do - the spirit may be willing, but the body just wont's work like it use to. My suggestion for you may or may not work, but maybe this will give you some ideas to think of on your own. From what you have said, you love to work outside, but that is getting harder. Can you start some indoor houseplants, or a raised garden, or maybe start growing some transplants, and then letting someone else plant them in the yard for you? From the letters I have seen you writing lately, I suspect you are spending lots of time thinking about all the things you can't do anymore, and that is OK but it doesn't do much to make us happy. How about you and I visiting and trying to think of some things you can do which might make you and Vivian happy. My email is [log in to unmask], my home phone is 409-563-4049, and my icq is36197573. lets visit and see if we can't kick the blues a little further away. I evidently don't have Parkinson's disease, just the appearance of Parkinson's with something else causing the damage, but I still get a lot form the list, and I dont want to give up all my friends I've made here. Please get in touch with me, and we will cheer each other up, OK? Tex