----------------------------
Fun With Pattern Recognition
----------------------------
Before we begin today's tour, there is an entire family of urban
legends I want to squish in one fell swoop. Please listen to
this carefully: NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO GIVE YOU *ANYTHING* FOR
FORWARDING AN EMAIL MESSAGE TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS. PERIOD. I don't
care what you might have heard from other people. YOU CAN'T GET
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING, and you certainly can't get something for
simply forwarding an email to all of your friends.
With that said, you'd be surprised at how many people still believe
that these silly "forward an email to all of your friends and
something great will happen" hoaxes are true. What follows is the truth
about many of the 'email forwarding' hoaxes I have received over
the past couple of weeks. Play close attention to these -- you'll
notice a distinct pattern:
- Honda is *NOT* going to give you a free car for forwarding an
email message to all of your friends.
- The newly merged Microsoft and AOL is *NOT* going to give you
money for forwarding an email message to all of your friends
[and, even sillier, not only have Microsoft and AOL *NOT*
merged -- US antitrust laws would prohibit such a merger -- but
Microsoft and AOL are BITTER ENEMIES!]
- No one is actually going to "hop on the Bus" if you forward
this email message to three of your friends. :P
- Old Navy is *NOT* going to give you a free $25 gift card for
forwarding an email message to all of your friends.
- M&M's is *NOT* going to give you a free case of M&Ms for
forwarding an email message to all of your friends.
- Abercrombie & Fitch is *NOT* going to give you a free gift
certificate for forwarding an email message to all of your
friends.
- The Gap is *NOT* going to give you free cargo pants and
Hawaiian shirts for forwarding an email message to all of your
friends. [This one is my favorite!]
- IBM is *NOT* going to give you a free computer for forwarding
an email message to all of your friends.
- Microsoft is *NOT* going to give you free money for forwarding
an email message to all of your friends.
- Microsoft is also *NOT* going to give you a free copy of
Windows 98 for forwarding an email message to all of your
friends.
- Microsoft and Disney are *NOT* going to give you a free trip to
Disney World for forwarding an email message to all of your
friends.
- Nike is *NOT* going to give you free shoes for forwarding an
email message to all of your friends.
- The Guinness Book of World Records is *NOT* going to add your
name to their book for forwarding an email message to all of
your friends.
- Some billionaire is *NOT* going to make a donation to a dying
child in return for your forwarding an email message to all of
your friends.
- Some cancer or disease society is *NOT* going to make a
donation to a dying child in return for your forwarding an
email message to all of your friends. [In fact, every one of
the Net's "dying kid" stories is an outright hoax ... NOT ONE
has been true.]
- Some stranger is not going to magically cause a really neat
movie to pop-up on your screen in return for your forwarding an
email message to all of your friends.
Did you notice an underlying theme in all of these? FOLKS, NO ONE IS
EVER GOING TO GIVE YOU *ANYTHING* FOR SIMPLY FORWARDING AN EMAIL
MESSAGE TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS! (Gee, where did we hear THAT before?)
:P
What should you do if you receive an "email forwarding" message that
doesn't appear on our list? Should you forward the message to all of
your friends on the off chance that it just might be true? Of course
not. Regardless of how the message is written, it is still a hoax.
And, unfortunately, one of the prices of Net citizenship is vigilance
-- you have to be constantly watching for old hoaxes and urban legends
masquerading as new.
One way to keep up with Net hoaxes and urban legends, especially the
myriad of email forwarding hoaxes, is to bookmark and frequently visit
both
<A HREF="http://urbanlegends.about.com/">
http://urbanlegends.about.com/ </A>
and
<A HREF="http://www.snopes.com/">
http://www.snopes.com/ </A>.
The other way to keep up with Net hoaxes and urban legends is to start
looking for patterns in these hoaxes. All email virus warning hoaxes
follow the same pattern. All "forward an email to all of your friends
and something great will happen" hoaxes also follow a pattern, as do
all of the "dying kid" hoaxes. Train yourself to recognize these
patterns and you will become a valuable Net asset, able to protect
yourself from future hoaxes and, more importantly, able to share your
Net-hoax-busting knowledge with your friends, family, and co-workers.
-------------------------------------
excerpted from:
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238
Copyright 1995-99, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved
Archives on the Web at:
<http://www.TOURBUS.com>
janet paterson
52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
613 256 8340 po box 171 almonte ontario canada K0A 1A0
a new voice: <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/>
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