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hi all

At 05:33 1999/10/14 -0400, jim wrote, in part:
>What is our goal? To increase Parkinson's research spending and cure
>Parkinson's or  is it to correct our system of funding research and
>embarrass Sen. Specter.  Mine is and will be the former...

in other words
keep our eye on the goal
and on the positive aspects of the struggle
because the negatives only produce more negativity?

>I suggest that instead of using are limited time and energy trying to fix
>the system whereby research funding is prioritized we write and thank Sen.
>Specter for his support and continued support.  We've spent years working
>within the current system and I think we are beginning to see increase
>dollars going to Parkinson's disease research. ...

the idea of seeing some results at last
after doing all that frustrating and difficult work for so long
would require us to change our focus our energies
and change is, in and of itself, scary

>What thrilled me about the hearing, wasn't the testimony of Michael J.
>Fox, Dr. Langston, Joan Samuelson or even Jim Cordy.  It was Dr. Fischbach
>in his official capacity stating that he feels the cure is within our grasp,
>that there are 11 Parkinson's centers approved, that there will be 200 new
>people working on Parkinson's disease research next year....

which reminds me,
Dr.Fischbach's and Jim Cordy's words are not posted at the PAN website;
do the PANpeople know when they will be?

>And maybe even more importantly, that Sen. Specter, chairman of the
>powerful appropriations subcommittee was nodding his head in agreement
>and supporting/championing increased Parkinson's disease research...
>I suggest all those who responded to requests to call Sen. Specter's
>office, take time to write and thank him for his continued support...

hear hear!

i am reminded of my french teacher in high school
i always got excellent marks in french
through all five years that i took it but
my so-called 'skill' is not the point of this tangent

if i got 88/100 in a test, she would say good! keep it up!
if i got 95/100 in a test, she would say excellent! try for 100!
if i got 100/100 in a test, she would say excellent! try to maintain this!

i always had the impression that, while my work had been good,
it was never quite good enough, and suddenly the goal posts got moved

her intention at the time
was likely to encourage me to keep trying
but what i retained from the ongoing battle was
that even if i tried as hard as i could and did my very best,
the result was minimized in the race for more, more, more!

i would never be good enough
my joy in my accomplishment was soured

any ambition i had to improve my grades
became based on conflict and 'showing her' spitefulness
rather than the joy of learning and challenging myself

none of us are perfect
and none of us ever will be
and none of us ever have been

if we were
we would not need to be here


janet

janet paterson
52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset
613 256 8340 po box 171 almonte ontario canada K0A 1A0
a new voice: <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/>
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