Once I know the facts, once I know what I'm up against, I can deal with it. It's the not knowing , the uncertainty that kills me ( literally and figuratively> This is a heartbreaking situztion, but I think he has to know, and to face the facts. And I think you and your sister deserve a little consideration too. I may sound cold, but it is really because he is in the situation that scares me the most. Hilary Blue Chris Campbell wrote: > > Hello everyone: > > I am back for more advise. > > Recap: My brother Sherman (73/8) is in a care facility, indigent, and > has some dementia. He is a sober alcoholic. He still wants to drink. I > believe he is in Stage 3+ or 4 of PD, unable to care for himself. He has > only social security for an income. In the facility he is entitled to > Medicaid, so all of his medical needs are taken care of. If he leaves > he will not be eligible for Medicaid. My sister and I try to provide > the personal necessities. > > He is very unhappy in the facility and wants to leave. However, he has > no where to go and no money to go on. (My sister are both unable to > take him in, and he really is at the stage even a loving wife would not > be able to care for him). > > My sister and I have worked very hard at getting him to stay, at least > one more month, about three times now. He is not thinking rationally. > He thinks because he feels 30 in his head, (don't we all), he doesn't > understand why he shouldn't leave the facility. > > Now for what I did to him. I have tried to explain PD to him. But my > sister and I both have tried to smooth over PD so as not to worry or > upset him. So in order for him to accept that he must stay I gave him a > printout of PD and all its stages and prognosis. I just felt he had to > get in touch with the reality of his situation. If he leaves he will > fall in the gutter and not get up. I don't want that for my brother. > So, I tried the tough love approach. > > I read the list every day and know all of you have faced what your > future is. Shouldn't Sherman know what is happening to him. Or should > we just let him go? Was it wrong of me to lay the terrible future out in > front of him? > > What should we do to help our Brother? > > Chris