Hi Tina-- you wrote:
>Well Camilla -- my year thus far has not been too great. First I was
>diagnosed
>with parkinson's then my parents are going through a divorce after 32 years of
>marriage. So my mother has divorced me also because she says that I need to
>drop everything right now that is going on in my life and totally support her.
>I have been dealing with her since June, all she wants to talk about is
>her and
>dad. She never asks me how I am, in fact she keeps telling me I don't
>have PD,
>because Dr. Dalvi told her that her symptons were all stress related. So
>naturally I don't have it. She is being totally selfish at this point. She
>would call me 6-8 times a day. I couldn't get a word in edge wise,
>because she
>kept rambling on and on. My therapist says I need to limit my time with her,
>because she has been causing my PD to be worse.
I can understand how hard this is for you, but as a retired marriage
counselor I want to ask you to try to put yourself in her shoes for a
minute. I don't know WHY this 32 year marriage is ending, W HO wants
"out", whether they (or she) have tried counseling, but have to wonder
about all those things.
It sounds as if your mother is in great pain, fear, and uncertainly about
her future, and needs to deny that there's anything wrong with you, because
she needs YOU to be concerned for HER ! Does that make any sense? Did
your therapist suggest that she needs someone else to talk to--like a
therapist of her own? Even though a divorce is underway, there is such a
thing as "divorce" counseling, and it can help deal with the pain,
emotional issues, and practical matters, with no pressure to reconcile.
You must feel caught in the middle here, as possibly you are closer to one
parent than the other, or see one as more at fault. I don't know where you
are seeing your therapist, but in Hamilton there are good resources for
your mother, and my old agency, Family Service of Butler County, offers
counseling on a sliding scale and also accepts insurance. Would she be
open to trying this is you offered to go with her the first time, maybe?
Tina, please realize I'm fumbling in the dark,knowing nothing of this
situation, just basing my comments on my 16 years of experience ! And you
may have tried this already---but for your sake as well as hers, I hope you
can find a way to resolve this conflict. You don't need the added stress,
and she needs a listening ear !
Did you know Dr Dalvi and his
>staff of neurosurgeons are third in the country? Also I think my group would
>be interested in the pennies for parkinson's...could you send me some
>info.....if you like e-mail me at [log in to unmask], and I will reply to you
>with
>my address. I will then represent it at our next meeting in November. Talk to
>you soon.
>
>Tina
>
>Camilla Flintermann wrote:
>
>> Well, Tina-- Fairfield-Hamilton is even closer to Oxford! I worked for 16
>> years in Hamilton as a counselor at Family Service, so I know the area.
>>
>> We do have a support group here in Oxford, and it's lucky we do, 'cause I'd
>> never get Peter to one at Drake Center---but I'm glad you have found it,
>> and that Claudia can go with you. I'm sorry your mother can't go with you
>> though--is she not well?
>> I think you said it's a YOPD group--that's better for you perhaps, than
>> Oxford would be, as our members are all older. We do have folks from
>> Hamilton/Ffld, & Liberty, too though. Is your group going to do the
>> Pennies for Parkinsons project? We have found a student group from Miami
>> who will do the leg work for us, and we're really tickled about that. Our
>> group is small and not able to be very active, so we need all the help we
>> can get !
>> When you are at the U of C clinic, see if you can get in touch with Debbie
>> Mills, she's Dr.Samaha's nurse, and a real great lady--she would be a fine
>> speaker at your group some time.
>> Good to hear from you--stay well---
>>
>> >
>> > JUST 0000000
>> > TO 0/ 0 000
>> > SAY HI! 0| o o |0 CAMILLA
>> > 0| ^ |0
>> >. ......... ...o00o..........\.. *.. ./.......o00o...........
>> >| | | | | | | | |
>> >| | | | | | | | |
>> >
>> ><[log in to unmask]>
>> >
>> > http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm
>> >
Camilla Flintermann
http://www.newcountry.nu/pd/members/camilla/one.htm
<[log in to unmask]>
"Love People----
----- Use Things"
