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Oh Rita-- you have said what needs to be said so well--I'm sending it again here in case anyone missed it, and also fwdg to CARE, since a few CGs don't read PIEN and we all need to hear this. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Camilla Rita wrote: >Every few weeks someone posts a "do not put them/me in a nursing home" plea >or tale. "I promised him/her I never would"......"I don't want to go"...." I >feel so guilty..." > >If you want to keep the patient at home.....if you want your family to devote >24 hours a day to your care.......if you want your friends to take care of >you......that is great. Please do provide the care at home. > >However, "until you have walked in someone else's shoes"......please >remember.... >and respect others for the decision to pay for a nursing home facility/staff. > For some people, at home care with dementia is not a choice. For some >people, physical responsibility of a loved one 24 hours a day is not a >choice. Some nursing homes have wonderful facilities, wonderful staff and >wonderful patients. Some nursing home patients are not visited by family >every day.......some patients have no family within 500 miles of the nursing >home. Some families have more members requiring care than the person in the >nursing home. Some patients in nursing homes would not want their family >members to take care of their physical needs. Some nursing homes CAN deal >with the schedule for Parkinson medications. > >Nursing home patients do have the freedom to move, think, speak.....they are >warm, fed, clean and safe. They are loved. > >There are as many reasons and excuses for keeping a patient at home as there >are reasons and excuses for putting a person in a nursing home. Please learn >to respect those choices. > >Each of us will have to deal with the caring and/or dying of a loved one at >some time in our own lives........families change, needs change, environments >change and challenges change from day to day. > >Please do not make the promise to any family member "never to put you there". >Please do not make family members promise "to keep me at home". >Please do not criticize families who do chose to utilize nursing home care. >Please do not feel guilty if you are one who makes the decision to provide nh >care. > >Respect and love yourself and your family... > >Rita Weeks, 55/10