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Every few weeks someone posts a "do not put them/me in a nursing home" plea or tale. "I promised him/her I never would"......"I don't want to go"...." I feel so guilty..." If you want to keep the patient at home.....if you want your family to devote 24 hours a day to your care.......if you want your friends to take care of you......that is great. Please do provide the care at home. However, "until you have walked in someone else's shoes"......please remember.... and respect others for the decision to pay for a nursing home facility/staff. For some people, at home care with dementia is not a choice. For some people, physical responsibility of a loved one 24 hours a day is not a choice. Some nursing homes have wonderful facilities, wonderful staff and wonderful patients. Some nursing home patients are not visited by family every day.......some patients have no family within 500 miles of the nursing home. Some families have more members requiring care than the person in the nursing home. Some patients in nursing homes would not want their family members to take care of their physical needs. Some nursing homes CAN deal with the schedule for Parkinson medications. Nursing home patients do have the freedom to move, think, speak.....they are warm, fed, clean and safe. They are loved. There are as many reasons and excuses for keeping a patient at home as there are reasons and excuses for putting a person in a nursing home. Please learn to respect those choices. Each of us will have to deal with the caring and/or dying of a loved one at some time in our own lives........families change, needs change, environments change and challenges change from day to day. Please do not make the promise to any family member "never to put you there". Please do not make family members promise "to keep me at home". Please do not criticize families who do chose to utilize nursing home care. Please do not feel guilty if you are one who makes the decision to provide nh care. Respect and love yourself and your family... Rita Weeks, 55/10