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Janet, I like your philosophy, thanks for sharing. I have m. Scott's peck's saying typed in a neat font that fits it on my wall in front of my computer: LIfe is difficult, Misery is Optional. I actually typed it up for a coworker at work who is always complaining... She keeps hers on her desk to remind her that life needn't be as difficult as she sometimes makes it. I also have another saying on my wall that has helped my attitude in dealing with my PD..."I will not let tomorrow's possibilities rob me of today's pleasures" which I lifted from a PD Internet buddy's e-mail, Barbara Worcester whose inspiring words can be found on the net in Writer's corner which I found under Links at the Parkinson's Network site. I don't have their exact address on e-mail, but if you search for Frontlines, you'll find it. j Cheers, Brenda janet paterson wrote: > hi all > > At 07:17 1999/11/07 -0600, paul wrote to me, in part: > >... Apparently you are not familiar with truly advanced > >cases of PD. My father died of complications after 13 > >years. ... My mother took care of him to the very end > >but you apparently do not have a clue what some > >caregivers go thru. It takes a VERY special person to > >cope. And, yes, it could destroy a family --- mentally. > >... Death was a blessing --- but what a hell of a way to > >die... > > hi paul, > > i appreciate your comments > your father and your family obviously had a difficult time > i was with my father as he struggled for two years with throat cancer in 1977 > i was with my mother as she was overcome by heart problems in 1964 > > in my view > perception of any situation 'tragedy' or 'blessing' > is in the eye [and heart and soul] of the beholder i.e. the percept-or > and is tinted by the lenses the percept-or uses to look through > > the old saw > about 'sauces and gooses and ganders and gravies' > hits the mark [even though i can't remember exactly how it goes] > in the same way that the 'glass being half full or half empty' classic does > > >...On another subject that I have been wanting to write > >to you about ----- you comment about being afraid to > >have a surgery to relieve your PD. You better get over > >it girl!!!! My brother says there is very little pain > >involved with a biSTN... > > pain holds no terror for me > it is other aspects of surgery that i fear, going back to childhood trauma > > i know that i could do some work on overcoming that fear > maybe editing and posting the-hole-in-the-head-gang-stories > is part of that work [?!] > > my views on tragedies and blessings and surgeries and illness > are created and coloured by me and my experiences > and by the way i choose to interpret them > > the fact that i had a choice was not apparent to me most of my life > until i read m. scott peck's declaration 'life is difficult' > in 'the road less traveled' > > that shift in perception > ['the scales fell from my eyes'] > was the catalyst for a significant change in my 'lens prescription' > going all the way back to april 1990 > when i thought the bottom of my world had fallen out from under me > not because of my pd diagnosis 18 months earlier > but because of my discovery [piled on top of several other losses] > that my four month old [first] marriage had been a mistake and was over > > we are > where we have been > > janet > > janet paterson > 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset > e-mail - [log in to unmask] > web-site - http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/