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hi all echoes of songs already sung i was scared to death before my diagnosis and kept my head in the sand for nigh-on four years and then i was scared to death by my diagnosis due to my own ignorance [which is not to say i was 'to blame' for being pd-ignorant at the time] none of us has a crystal ball license not us not even our medicos each one of us has a unique story of how we cope with what we have we all are where we have been i stopped 'working' full time two years ago and am now on a disability pension and probably do just as much 'work' in 24 hours as i ever did! and this is year 13 or 14 since first noticing symptoms the biggest problem facing parkies in my humble opinion is awareness pd has been hidden away in the closet for so long due to shame and fear about 'showing' symptoms that there is ignorance on all fronts ignorance is not bliss in re pd it can be isolating it can be disheartening it can even be fatal in unlocking the troubles of dealing with pd the two keys are EDUCATION and TITRATION learn as much as you can about pd knowledge = power ignorance = fear the most educated 'parkie' or 'person with parkinson's' likely will be the oldest living parkie unless i get hit by a truck read: the 'psychosocial' article <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/pienet/words/nppsych1.html> the 'algorithm for managing parkinson's disease' <http://neuro-chief-e.mgh.harvard.edu/parkinsonsweb/Main/Drugs/ManPark1.html> the 'young parkinson's handbook' <http://neuro-chief-e.mgh.harvard.edu/parkinsonsweb/main/YOPD_Handbook/YOPD_TOC.html> joe's story <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/pienet/joestory/index.html> jim finn's diary <http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/pienet/hithgang/hitjimf.html> during my four years of pien list membership i have learned a ton i have laughed i have cried i have rejoiced i have despaired at night, alone in our thoughts, is when the gremlins come out which is understandable we've had one heck of a shock with our diagnosis "chronic", "progressive", "incurable", "degenerative"... words to strike fear in the heart... but, heck, add "sexually transmitted" and we have a description of life with any perceived loss we have to take the time to grieve it which is why i recommend the 'psychosocial' article above our lives have changed, no getting around it but change is what life is if we can learn to look at these crisis points as challenges to be learned from and not as punishments to resent or to fear we will become all the richer in my view i have 'lost' nothing since my diagnosis i have only gained rich rewards and blessings and being able to 'talk' with you is one of them janet janet paterson 52 now / 41 dx / 37 onset e-mail - [log in to unmask] web-site - http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/6263/