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adequate and eloquent explaination, Michel. My dad's not had a major heart surgery and although he's the cook, nurse, and bottle/clothes washer due to mom's Alzheimer's, at present he insists things are going OK and he'd rather keep care of her in their home of 35 years than relocate to the senior apts not far from their current residence. The duplex/ apt. requires NO downpayment as it's a rental only and the neighboring LTC facility dining room allows apt residents to eat there or to take meals to the individual's apt. It would mean downsizing and selling their home and alot of material goods but it would mean less care of yard, house, etc and also would give them some readily available closeby neighbors and the medical call button. Guess when dad's health is not as good or mother's care is too much for him he may look at things differently. I just hate that the tiring, taxing job of 24 hr/7 days a week caregiver is all my dad has to look forward to in his "golden years". I think, too, I fear that my husb may be facing the same type of job in the future if my Parkinson's disease progresses and disables me to the point of depending on him for all my needs. I suppose that is why our wedding vows included: "in sickness and in health, til death does us part". I know my dad certainly stands by those vows and so do you, Michel. Thanks for "listening" to my concerns and I sure hope we can meet and/or visit on the phone when we're in DC area in Jan. Hope Barbara is still improving and that you are well. Jeanette;) ---------- From: Michel Margosis <[log in to unmask]> To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: Moving Day Posponed (Waaaah!) Date: Wednesday, November 17, 1999 3:37 PM Jeanette Fuhr wrote: > Michel I applaud your decision to downsize and move you & Barbara to a > retirement community. I do wish my parents, dad-85 mom-81, would simplify > and sell their 3 bedroom with a full basement and 2-car bulging garage and > move to apartment with 2 bed, 1car garage, screened patio and emergency > call buttons and dining room available that is next to a LTC facility in > their neighborhood. I live 30 minutes away but cannot be there as quickly > or as often as I'd like. How did you decide to make this type of move? We heard about this community for seniors that was being erected in Springfield,Va and we decided to look into it. Barbara was becoming gradually less capable of managing a home or doing any housekeeping. The community is planned to comprise somewhat over 2000 people, self contained with bank, beauty parlor, and grocery shop, operating currently, but so far the population is about 350, and today we celebrated our first anniversary. The apartments range from a studio to two bedrooms with two baths, and entry prices proportionately from about $100,000 to $275,000, which is returnable, emphasize 'returnable' upon termination of residency. No other such senior community offered that. When we leave, one way or the other, this entry fee is part of our estate and will be part of our legacy. We pay a monthly fee of about $2,300 for two (about $1,500 for a single) that includes ALL utilities with cable TV ( but no phone), and one meal a day. I had the company papers reviewed by an attorney, and I asked for the bottom line 'would you have your mother there?', and he said 'absolutely, yes'. Our daughter was strongly in favor, though her husband first maintained he did not like the idea of an entry fee without interest. When I explained that the money from the sale of our house would just be transferred from the house to the senior residence, he strongly favored too. Our son was not that inclined, but with time, knowing that I could not care for Barbara AND a house after having quadruple coronary bypass, he too went along. We are probably unique in moving further away from the children, but it's only and additional 15 minutes. The seniors here have started a new life here more so than just being retired. It is a bright and multitalented community that goes out and is very active socially and in the Northern Virginia area. Is that an adequate explanation? Keep well. Michel