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Dear List Family, My computer was down for more than two weeks and has been behaving erratically since and so I am once again on a 'loaner' machine. I have had to wade through over 1500 emails, and that's just this list! My 'real' family are sick and tired of the computer speaking to me. Being cut off from the cyber family left me feeling bereft and empty. Which brings me to my point. The bickering, the lurking, the large amount of posts by relatively few members are typical of a family. We have five children with us at the moment and there is bickering and so is it surprising with 1800 in the cyber family? Like a family though, the bickering is amongst ourselves - Oh woe betide the outsider that told my daughter I was a 'cripple' and so woe unto you the City of Portland and all the others that attack or hurt our brothers and sisters on this list! The bickering also puts a strain on myself and my loving wife (caregiver, mother, nurse, taxi driver, cook, etc who is as deaf as a post which combined with my poor speech gives rise to many misunderstandings - some funny and some not so). We as parents have to be big enough to take a stand on discipline and what is and is not acceptable in the home. The decisions are sometimes not popular with all and sometimes, yes I admit it, the decisions we make are wrong. The list owners or moderators or whatever they are called, are effectively the "Mom" and "Dad" of this our cyber family, I think. So they have to take the stand and risk their popularity and yes they are human and so will make mistakes and from time to time be wrong. All the "non PD" stuff is like conversation and I must admit that I enjoy the banter, repartee and yes even the insults and the apologies. It makes the cyber family real, distracts from the unneeded reminder that I have an incurable disease. Views on religion, sex, LIFE vary in our home and the children all have their own views and we encourage them to express them. I am not to old or to proud to learn from my family - both real and cyber. I never understood all of the pig humour, but miss it never the less. When I am able to think, talk and write coherently I will and when I am not I will sit quietly and listen to the conversation and general hub-bub of my family around me. It is comforting to listen to them. Its nice to belong and be loved. [LURK!] You decide which family I speak of! I think I have said enough. Love you all and hope that the spirit of this festive season is with you, one and all. DaveSA (Yes we even have nicknames in our real family) David J Roll Port Alfred South Africa LURK = Love, Undisturbed by Rows or Kisses