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hlary blue, I agree with you. In my family we have always had that opinon. For as long as I can remember we have always made sure that some non-sick member of the family made sure they were there when another member was sick and could not speak for themselves as they usually would be able to. I have been there for my dad mom grandparents, children grand children etc. We need to be there for moral support and to hear what the patient cannot or doesnot want to hear. I also helps to have that second ear when making decisions on the type of treatment the patient ops for. At first I was shocked when I was excluded from Dicks doctors, and very angry. We had many heated discussion about this and still do. He has always kept his ilnesses private from his kids and his family. I used to go along with this because I felt he had that right, but I no longer keep anything from them. I tell them right out what is going on and most of them really are not interested. To be interested and to acknowledge there is a problem you will then have to do something about it. So I have told them all I will keep them posted but I do not want to hear any opinions after the fact. SuecgDick