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Surprisingly, divorce seems to be fairly rare among the PWP/Caregiver population - unlike that seen with patients with other types of chronic, progressive neurologic disorders. Oftentimes, families find that divorce is necessary so that the healthy spouse doesn't have to go to the poorhouse to get the necessary care for the afflicted partner. This is a somewhat more common occurrance, I'm told, in patients with disorders like Huntington's disease where there is much more severe cognitive difficulties necessitating institutional care. In my own personal experience working for the past two decades in Parkinson's, I've heard of only one divorce and that was the result of other family concerns and not, supposedly, the PD. In my opinion, PWPs and their spouses tend to be caring and loving - and not afraid to show it either! This is something I've always admired about the PD population. Jeanne Lee-Rosner PDF-Chicago ----- Original Message ----- From: KF Etzold <[log in to unmask]> To: <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Tuesday, December 21, 1999 12:29 PM Subject: Caregivers, was Spouses going to Appoinments > One often sees messages commenting on how brave a PWP is, how well he is > doing etc. I think there is a certain asymmetry in the response of > outsiders to such an affliction. When sympathy is given, it is to the PWP > and the CG just stands there sort of like a monument or an accessory. It is > rarely realized that Parkinsonisn affects typically two people (at least) > and there are often profound changes in the lifestyle of the CG along with > that of the PWP. > > Quote: > We spouses and children share the frustration, the depression, and the > anger that comes with the > shattered plans for dreams of a future that are likely lost forever. Our > social life disapates > and we become increasingly housebound along with the victim. We learn how > much they did for us > as we take over the tasks of running a home one by one when their abilities > diminish. We labor > physically in the care of our spouses or parents and suffer wrenched > muscles, bruises and loss > of sleep. Our dispositions sour as we grow exhausted in our labor of love. > We snap and snarl and > then apologize when circumstances overwhelm us, just as the victim does. We > weep along with > them. We are victims too. > > I think this quote from Martha Rorers post well summarizes our situation, > certainly my life has changed and plenty of accomodations are neccessary. > Just curious: Does anybody have an idea how many relationships are broken > and result in separations or divorce. I can easily see that the emotional > an financial strain can break relationships apart. I am hanging in there. > > K-F Etzold Cg Carline > I >