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i look at my son has his life been ruined at 18, SAT score 1570, yet he cant keep up with a 2nd string college - part time -- too stressed out to cope with exams and deadlines - Give him a chance to be a kid let him goof off. My 14 yr old looks at a bottle of pills, and her 16 yr old sister moves out of home. Am i a monster - no! Neither was their father. But how many survive the stress of two parents debilitatingly stricken before their time. At nine he was helping his mentally ill father fight aginst foreclosure his friends were playing ball. six weeks after barmitzvah he was saying kaddish , praying for a dead father, thankful that his cancer was so quick. Dont study , dont get a job, indulge your needs says the therapist (paid by the county) I dont hav e the money to support him and the socialworker poinsts out that he willl lose the medicaid we're trying to claim - to pay for the surgery he needs. Or work to get insurance - and , like his father, face a mental collapse instead> What can i do , child of my heart G-d gave you to me take care of. now i just lack the money, but soon i'll be needing somebody to care for me who will that be? and who will take care of you and your sister when i am no longer there? hilary blue (50/33/24) Ivan M Suzman wrote: > > You CG's deserve a profound amount of praise > > We single PWP's slowly watch our households > take requests from us, but > walls don't toss martinis on trees > and floors can't scrape off melted candlewax > from Chanukah menorah messes on old maple table tops > > Oh well, maybe I'll get lucky > > PD hasn't robbed me of my sexiness.... > > Ivan > :-) > > On Tue, 21 Dec 1999 13:29:50 -0500 KF Etzold <[log in to unmask]> writes: > >One often sees messages commenting on how brave a PWP is, how well he > >is > >doing etc. I think there is a certain asymmetry in the response of > >outsiders to such an affliction. When sympathy is given, it is to the > >PWP > >and the CG just stands there sort of like a monument or an accessory. > >It is > >rarely realized that Parkinsonisn affects typically two people (at > >least) > >and there are often profound changes in the lifestyle of the CG along > >with > >that of the PWP. > > > >Quote: > >We spouses and children share the frustration, the depression, and > >the > >anger that comes with the > >shattered plans for dreams of a future that are likely lost forever. > >Our > >social life disapates > >and we become increasingly housebound along with the victim. We learn > >how > >much they did for us > >as we take over the tasks of running a home one by one when their > >abilities > >diminish. We labor > >physically in the care of our spouses or parents and suffer wrenched > >muscles, bruises and loss > >of sleep. Our dispositions sour as we grow exhausted in our labor of > >love. > >We snap and snarl and > >then apologize when circumstances overwhelm us, just as the victim > >does. We > >weep along with > >them. We are victims too. > > > >I think this quote from Martha Rorers post well summarizes our > >situation, > >certainly my life has changed and plenty of accomodations are > >neccessary. > >Just curious: Does anybody have an idea how many relationships are > >broken > >and result in separations or divorce. I can easily see that the > >emotional > >an financial strain can break relationships apart. I am hanging in > >there. > > > >K-F Etzold Cg Carline > >I > > ^^^^^^ WARM GREETINGS FROM ^^^^^^^^^^^^ :-) > Ivan Suzman 50/39/36 [log in to unmask] :-) > Portland, Maine land of lighthouses deg. F :-) > ********************************************************************